It sucks I found this group I’m sorry there is more people out there going through this 💔
As I’m reading your post I unfortunately relate to most of them. I go to therapy once a week to get reassurance that I’m not a bad person and I’m not crazy because that’s all my parents think of me or probably worse? More my dad but honestly lately I feel like I thought I knew my mom but sometimes she says some stuff that make my heart raise and my stomach twist.
Today I feel like idk what to do. I feel hopeless today a day after my birthday it’s hitting me harder because it’s just a reminder of not having the relationship I wish to have with them. I’m 32 and I still feel like a sad little girl and they have noooo clue noooo idea. They don’t care to know me. I sometimes think of moving away far away and start my own life but the guilt I feel of abandoning them is too big and now worse because they being throwing hints of who’s going to take care of them when they get older? Like assuming it’s me and I feel it’s going to be me. I hate those old people homes I feel they get abused. So I would never do that to them. Unless I find a good alternative or a good group home or idk what I’m going to do honestly.
Has anyone thought about your parents when they get older and can’t take care of themselves what role will you play in that scenario ???
I have conflicting thoughts but at the same time Im hoping they figure it out on their own I don’t want to be part of it. At least from the distance yet like visiting but I don’t want to live with them.