For reference I love my friends. But this whole friendship has been nothing but 1 sided when we met in kindergarten. Yes I realize this is a long time to just throw away a friendship but she makes my life literally revolve around her.
It all started in middle school when she met new people and she didnt invite me to her birthday party because and I quote “my new friends didn’t think you were cool enough” her grandma felt terrible because we always hung out and her grandma personally invited me to her party and I went because she was my friend even though I wasn’t spoken to. (Some things just stick in your mind even years later)
She has had sex with all of my exes, once while I was dating him. So that was school years, there’s so much more but it doesn’t even matter now.
In our adult years if she invites me over and I either can’t or don’t want to I get the silent treatment for a week. I’ve invited her to come over many times (we live an hour from each other now and I see her EVERY WEEK) she straight up refuses. She lets her kids come stay at my house and she expects me to pick them up and drop them off every time. And I do so because it’s not the kids fault.
My previous birthday she invited me over to watch a fight? When she knows I dont and will not watch that stuff but I told her that and I once again got the silent treatment. (Meanwhile I asked her if she could come over for MY BIRTHDAY and she refused)
She also knows I work on the food service industry but we were having her bachelorette party she refused to tip and yelled at me because I wanted to leave a tip and she said “they need to get real jobs and not rely on other peoples money” there’s a lot more to that story but that’s what sparked the thought I don’t want to be friends with someone who doesn’t respect me.
Fast forward to today when I get a text about coming over for her birthday and the pettiness inside of me wants to say I’ll come over when you actually acknowledge my birthday. But I didn’t.
How would you tell your lifelong best friend of over 20 years that you just can’t keep doing it and need to focus on my happiness not hers?
By the way we are both married. She has 2 kids that I adore and I have -2. I could go on and on about everything I have done for her but I’ll just leave it at this.