Contact and Preface
I have preserved all relevant evidence, including WhatsApp logs, emails, hospital discharge papers, and letters from the university’s legal team.
For contact or support, you can reach me at: luckilyalive.ua@proton.me
I am not hiding my identity out of shame or fear. I am keeping some distance from this publicly because I am trying to protect myself psychologically from reliving these events again and again.
To anyone who reaches out to me directly, my identity is open. I am not ashamed of anything, and I am not afraid to speak.
This post is not my first attempt to address what happened. For months, I followed every official and legal channel available to me until I reached a dead end.
1. The Midnight Threat
Before I could even process what was happening, while I was still trying to recover from hospitalization just two days later, I was contacted by the UAntwerpen mediator at 23:00.
During this conversation, I was explicitly threatened with being “sent back to my country.”
This is how a university mediator treats a vulnerable international student in distress. At that point, there had not even been any direct encounters.
2. The Rector’s Protection
I filed a formal complaint with the Legal Department.
The Rector personally intervened and decided there was “no need for a disciplinary investigation.”
This decision was based solely on evidence provided by the university staff member involved, while I was never even asked for my account, effectively shielding that individual from any meaningful investigation.
Instead of accountability, the case was handed to a corporate lawyer, who then began threatening me with jail time.
3. The Failed Safety Nets
Vlaamse Ombudsdienst stated that the case was “properly handled” despite clear threats.
The University Ombudsman said it was not within their field.
Legal Aid and CAW placed me in a bureaucratic loop. The legal office requested documents from CAW, who never responded to me. Then additional unrelated documents were requested, which delayed the process and drained my resolve.
Why am I speaking out now
I was ready to let everything go and focus on rebuilding my life.
But I continue to receive automated emails presenting the Rector as someone who cares about students and answers their concerns. That contrast between image and reality is what pushed me to speak.
This situation goes beyond threats.
While I was in my home country, my legal sponsor disposed of my belongings with the approval of the mediator. I will also share part of an email related to this.
This was someone who had officially declared that she would protect me. Instead, she used legal loopholes and my trust against me.
The government was also misled into believing that we were living together, even before I had decided to apply for a second academic year.
After all of these events, I decided to withdraw my enrollment and continue my life in my home country. At that point, I was told that I had no right to any refund.
Despite being pushed into a situation where I was nearly losing my life, they were not even willing to allow me a fresh start. Even that was denied, because taking responsibility for what happened was clearly something they wanted to avoid.
What I experienced is not just negligence. It is a system protecting specific individuals at the expense of accountability.
this is my way of moving forward and making sure this does not disappear in silence.
Part 1: How the story started
Here is how the story goes.
For the academic year 2024–2025, I decided to study for my master’s degree in Antwerp and moved there. I have a documented 15% disability, and before choosing a university and a city, I made detailed research to find a place where my condition would be respected and where I could feel protected. I have ADHD and BPD, and I take regular medication daily.
Being away from home was difficult. I was trying to socialize and build a support system for myself.
In my class, I met with her.
At first, I did not know she was married or that she was working as a staff member at UAntwerpen. She was not wearing a ring and she looked like a regular student.
We started spending time together.
Later, I found out that she was married. She opened up to me and told me she was in an unhappy marriage, that her husband was financially abusing her, that she had a daughter, and that she was carrying everything on her shoulders. I felt bad for her and for everything she had to deal with.
Her husband was also from my country, and surprisingly, from the same city as me. When she realized this, she told me that maybe I could help her interpret cultural differences and give her ideas about her situation.
She was also looking for treatment and suspected that she might have ADHD too. However, she told me she did not have the time or money to get a diagnosis. I helped her arrange doctors, supported her while she experimented with medication, and tried to be there for her through everything.
At that time, she also decided that she wanted a divorce and wanted to heal her ADHD. For approximately a year, I helped her handle her emotions and supported her through the divorce and mental health care. She was very insecure at that time. She had a burnout and took leave from her job.
Instead of focusing on myself, I spent days with her, calming her down and supporting her as a partner. It was devastating for me to get involved in a family drama where she had to arrange a divorce and rebuild her life.
As I helped her rebuild her life, she told me that she would also help me build mine.
She had hiring power at the university, and from time to time I helped her with her work. I also officially worked with the university on social media campaigns. She told me that after her divorce, she wanted to build a life with me and support me through my struggles, just as I was helping her deal with everything.
I loved her deeply, and I believed her.
Part 2: What it turned into
The divorce hit her hard. She had to deal with her daughter alone, pay for her husband, and face a reality that was hard for her to handle. Her family was not supportive enough.
I started to work, but it was limited because of my visa. Since she still needed her husband’s help for co parenting and the divorce was taking time, she kept our relationship discreet. She told me her husband could use it against her.
I was in her life, dealing with everything, but I was like a ghost.
I could not focus on my studies, and she could not keep her promises. As she regained her confidence, she became more self-focused. When I told her that this situation was damaging me, she kept telling me to wait more and more.
She was hiding me and my belongings at her house so she would not scare away her husband. Being treated like an affair even after months destroyed me.
I had a mental breakdown and got hospitalized.
That triggered her, and she became afraid of me. At that time, she arranged a mediator to solve the case, but instead of helping, the mediator took her side and threatened me with my visa. Later, we solved the conflict and continued the relationship.
But I could not deal with my own problems anymore.
I realized that nobody was there for me when it came to my own life, and I had been too blind to see it because I was so focused on her. She received support from the university as a staff manager, but I was completely alone.
Part 3: Visa, distance, and collapse
By the time my visa came to an end, she sponsored me for an extra year. I paid another tuition fee just to stay longer and be with her, but it did not end well.
I was having a hard time supporting myself financially and did not want to be a burden for her. She did not want to live with me because she was living with her daughter and co-parenting was still ongoing. But to help me keep my visa, she registered me at her house. At some point, the government was misled into believing that we were living in the same house.
When I could not support myself financially anymore, I went back to my country and tried to solve my financial problems so I could return.
At that time, because of the distance, she started seeing other people and wanted me to accept an open relationship. I felt very sad, but I also felt that there was nothing I could do, so I accepted it.
Feeling abandoned and forgotten, I visited my ex in my country, and that triggered her. She told me that an open relationship did not include seeing exes, and she decided to break up with me.
Later, she threw away my belongings.
Part 4: Reporting and aftermath
I reported everything to the university.
I told them that I could not properly use my right to education because I had been dealing with my partner, who was also a staff member of the university. I asked for a partial refund so I could start over.
Instead, they told me that I was a stalker and that I was the one abusing her. They hired a lawyer who threatened me with jail time, claiming that I was stalking her.
I do not think it is possible for me to stalk my legal sponsor, the person who had registered me at her house and with whom I was involved.
For them, I was just an international student they needed to scare away in order to protect their reputation.
Nobody cared that I had spent months supporting someone I loved through divorce, burnout, and mental health struggles. I left without an apology or support for the behavior of their staff member, even though it was very clear to me that she used her power to make me believe she was taking care of me.
Part 5: Why I am sharing this
The woman I loved deeply unfortunately traumatized me. I do not think she fully understands what she is doing. She is lonely, stuck with a child, still dependent on her husband’s support for parenting, and not in a good mental state. She is hurting other people while trying to heal herself.
I truly hope she fixes everything.
But I have my own life too.
I also wanted a chance to start over, but nobody gave me that support, not even when I decided to leave the city and quit the university.
I nearly lost my life in this drama, and it still haunts me that I was treated like an outsider, even though I was the one carrying her through everything. When things became difficult, it was easy for everyone to discard me.
I just wanted to share this. There is a lot going on at UAntwerpen, but I am very tired of explaining everything while trying to rebuild my life.
I only want to leave a digital footprint and tell people what happened.
When things go wrong, everyone will ignore you and continue their lives. This university does not care about the wellbeing of its students. It only cares about its reputation, and it can abandon you in the blink of an eye.
Closing note
Writing all of this has been very difficult for me. Every time I try to explain what happened, I feel like I am forced to live through it again.
I have also included some screenshots, because I know how important it is to show that this is not just a story, but something I truly went through.
I wish someone could have helped me organize all of this properly. I wish I did not have to do this alone. But I am trying to make my voice heard while carrying everything by myself.
At this point, I want to close this chapter of my life but all haunting me time to time.
I hope everything works out the way everyone wants. More than anything, I hope no one else has to go through the same things I went through.
Thank you for reading.
Censored evidence below:
Mediator deciding for my belongings
