Avoidant or a Narcissist?
Hi, I’m going through a horrible breakup and really struggling to see the reality for what it is. Full on cognitive dissonance. I know I won’t get the answer, but I would like to somehow reconcile the different sides of the person I was with. Was he a narcissist? An avoidant? Both?
I was with my ex for almost 2yrs. We had issues, we both struggled with work, it was a long distance relationship, but after every big fight he would come back and promise that things will get better. I was always pushing for open communication, he could get very defensive. Still, he was caring, sweet, would take care of my super reactive dog (actually said it’s his dog as well) when things got too much, talked about future, etc. Than one day, out of nowhere decided his feelings changed, packed his things and disappeared. Said he already worked through the breakup when we were together. I was completely shocked, just a week earlier I was applying for jobs and we were discussing all the possibilities, moving, doggy care, etc. I’m falling apart, he refused to take any responsibility for the situation, did not apologize. At the beginning suggested being friends but when I said no, he went on vacation with his uncle and I haven’t heard from him ever since. I’m absolutely devastated.