I can’t take a joke and end up feeling like the problem
Not sure what sub to post this in so lmk if there is a better one.
Long story short: I’m looking for advice on how to more easily recognize a joke (even a bad or mean one) and navigate the conversation without taking it to heart.
Long story long:
I have been learning more and more about myself since I entered adulthood and started therapy. One thing I have learned is that sometimes in conversation people try to tease me or make a joke and my knee jerk reaction is to defend myself.
I have come a long way with the teasing aspect and can now recognize when someone is teasing me in a friendly and kind way for the most part.
I’ve recently run into an issue with a friend of mine who makes jokes out of conversation that I can’t pick up. Idk what it is about them that has set me back, but every time I run into this I leave feeling down on myself like I’m the problem when in actuality I feel incredibly misunderstood and like I’m not being taken seriously.
Tonight, for example, they offered to cook me and my roommate dinner. I was trying to express that I didn’t want to eat so late at night (I recognize that I could have been more direct in saying no) and I kept repeating “I’m just worried about the time.” Eventually the friend said to my roommate something along the lines of “omg and you live with this?” Which in hindsight I can see is meant to be a joke but it hurt my feelings and made me feel invalidated. They continued to try and convince me to just go along with them and eat but at that point I had my guard up. Then when they were leaving the friend said “you’re welcome to join us” and I said “I honestly don’t feel welcome” to which they replied something like oh come on and I just zipped my lips at that point because I was so upset.
Long story short, I’m looking for advice on how to more easily recognize a joke (even a bad or mean one) and navigate the conversation without taking it to heart.
I know I’m a good person and did nothing wrong here except be a little unclear and I don’t believe anyone is necessarily wrong in the situation. I genuinely feel like it is a massive miscommunication.