r/problems

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Hi I am 18 year old . I have a sister who is 23 . Sometimes my mom send me to grocery store to bring the groceries but she also says me to bring the sanitary pads with I feel so awkward and ashamed actually I am a man and bringing such kind of thing and handling it to my sister really makes me uncomfortable but they both say this is normal one day you will do it for your wife without any hesitation.

I am really shy sometimes to go to pharmacy and buy some kind of medicine related to periods.

My mom says you should support the women and don't feel that this is unmanly.

I usually do her house works during my sister periods like helping mom in kitchen and watering the plants and also mobbing the floor sometimes.

She also demands a lot of chocolates and snacks from me during periods. And I give her these things from my own pocket money my parents really appreciate me for taking care of her .

But none of my friends have ever done this one day I was buying the pads and my friends saw me and the boys started laughing at me but the girls was like they got impressed from me .

I don't know whether it is right or wrong but what should I do about this.

I'm a 25 F, virgin

I'm someone who believes in sex after marriage but I did try to bend around that belief

My sexual experience is that I have made out with 2 girls prior to this interaction with the guy

I let the guy who was pursuing me for sexual intimacy suck on my tits and lick my navel 3 to 4 times in his car during the span of 2 months.

I kinda knew his intentions weren't genuine from the start but I was going through a rough patch and I had no one, he was there available no matter how much I pushed him away in the beginning

He used to push my boundaries and I felt like yeah let me do it at that moment but later ended up having deep regrets.

Ik it's just tits and navel still I feel this crumbling sense of guilt and regret all the time now

I heard he got drunk and told his friends that he has done me 2 to 3 times and once the videos arrive he will show them

Initially I was afraid he might have just recorded us getting intimate in his car then I started having regrets about letting a guy who thought I was a conquest do stuff for me

It all became too much anxiety panic and guilt regret about what I have done

I then started convincing myself it's ok I had to have that experience to know I am not Lesbian atleast now I know I'm bi

Then I told myself I made him do body worship for me so i should not feel bad about the entire ordeal but no matter what I feel so bad at the end of the day it feels like I have committed some horrible crime

I am not able to navigate my emotions i question myself if I liked him if i still like him I'm a mess

On one end i fear if he has made any videos on another end i feel I so stupid that i got manipulated so easily i just don't know how I should look at this entire thing

My birthday is this month and my only ask was to go to a restaurant with my family.
Earlier today, my mother came up to me and told me that we couldn’t because it would be too expensive and my father doesn’t like going out to eat
Honestly, I don’t get why we can’t go out just once a year for my birthday. It’s the only time I ask, and I usually don’t get presents anyways (sometimes I get money)
I feel like it was phrased in such a way that I’d feel guilty if we ended up going to a restaurant in the end since I’d feel bad for it being expensive
I’m honestly just disappointed as for the past few weeks it’s all I’ve been excited about and now I have virtually nothing to look forward to :/

Is it just me or is everyone such in a big hurry. Like walking for me is scary as hell. People are such in a huge hurry. Ive almost died like 3 times. Like are they so inconsiderate nowadays or just me. Utah is the weirdest inconsiderate state ive ever been to.

i started hating my birthday because for some reason bad things or traumatic events happened to me on or around my birthday for the last 2 or 3 birthdays ive had. so now i just associate my birthday with these bad events and its really hard to enjoy my day if all i can rmb is all these terrible things. i rmb last year a few days after my birthday my parents got really mad at me and i was down the whole day, although we were meant to go out and have my birthday dinner on the same day. they tried to cheer me up bcs they felt bad but it was such a bittersweet, fake sort of comfort. it doesnt help that ive been struggling with my mental health for years, and every time it comes round the time when its my birthday i get awfully depressed. does anyone have any advice, or anyone relate?(16F)

So my bf verbally abused me disrespected me . I went out with my friends I rarely go out with them and today I am in my nightout. He said how can u enjoy while im sick actually yes he is dealing with things but we are long distance I can only support him for
Afar u made this plan with my friends since weeks . We decided to go finally after exams and yes I did ask him that should I go I don’t wanna go u are not fine and all he said I’m fine u can go don’t cancel the plan but the moment I arrived here omg he became a different man . He knows u never get out of my room im an introvert also it’s my last year with my friends he questioned my priority.he is wrong.

I'm a minor and I've been struggling with mental health since covid if I remember correctly, but I can't seem to tell if it's just how I am, or some mental illness I have, or just hormones or puberty.

I remember being depressed and lethargic during covid, I didn't step out of my house for six months and my stamina had declined a lot. I felt like I was living in a simulation or a game, or like I was watching a movie in first person a lot back then, I don't know why that happens? I didn't have problem with social life until two years later, I suddenly got less confident and a lot introverted compared to before, where I was outgoing. I got self conscious and depressed, this could be attributed to puberty and hormones, but I cried at least once almost everyday, or several days a week for months. I wanted to get fixed, so I when to the psychiatrist, wanting to be relieved, but I couldn't tell if the small dose of antidepressants were working or not, the doctor couldn't provide things I expected from going to a professional(I didn't know the difference between a psychiatrist and a therapist back then), and I felt guilty for making my mom waste money on this, so I stopped going after around two months.

I kept struggling though, and sometimes I would come home and cry sobbing because I got upset, and would feel the need to throw things or break things, so I tore paper or broke pens, threw my phone etc. I would also hit my head with my hands or on the wall or desk out of frustration, scratching my legs or rubbing my face, not knowing how to get it out. It would take half an hour for me to fully calm down, and I'd get exhausted after. It would happen too when I tried telling my mom what I was struggling with, and she seemed to not understand at all. I needed to be alone during my breakdown and I couldn't stop crying. It made my mom stressed about my problems and it made it even harder to tell her about it. But it wasn't like I was totally out of control, I think. I could not throw things or hurt myself if I tried, I think. So I couldn't tell if it was just an embarrassing tantrum I was throwing to get attention or a meltdown. I keep crying very often, and sometimes in public, and I would go into stairwells or the coner of the parking lot to cry it out. I would call in sick for school often due to feeling some kinda of dread having to stay in school for the whole day, or after school activities. I feel guilty but I don't know what to do.

I feel like I got raised wrong or got spoiled, and that's why I'm throwing tantrums and getting upset at small things. After covid and after turning introverted, I had to relearn how to make friends, what kind of responses gets positive feedback or what kind of stance would fit in the majority. I used to be anxious around people, but now I'm a lot better. Still I can't figure out why the things I do are kind of different, even if I say the same thing, it doesn't garner the same response. And I feel like other people's conversations go much smoother, or easily get personal, while I have no idea how to do that. So I just keep on until I slowly gain their trust. And often when I share struggles or personal things, I feel like I just overshared or burdened the other person, and when I talk too much, I don't feel good.

I know people have their own struggles, but are others' struggles just like mine as well?

I also feel anxious when I hear my mom or dad swears(they didn't beat me at all), sometimes I get antisocial and get extremely anxious walking out wanting to avoid getting seen at all. And a huge part is that I started getting very upset when my mom would open my door without knocking or giving me a warning. I wasn't like that before, but it frustrated me to no end when she would just open my door, or would knock and then immediately open the door. I talked to her about it, it didn't get fixed first try, I had to cry and beg her, keep reminding her, and she doesn't stick her head in or open the door too wide and knocks beforehand(I also got upset when she would stick her head in or peer in through the open door.) I would go out to see her if I was ready. And also in the bathroom, I got paranoid when walking out and going to my room, because I had to go naked and was afraid of someone being in the hallway, or even the living room. I would stay inside until no sounds were heard, or I would hear door closing, even when I took off my clothes, I got anxious about the sound getting to other people's ears. But only in my home. When I would encounter or notice someone in the hallway while going to my room, I would jump and run to my room and break down. When I avoided my dad, I would avoid being in the same room as him or even getting seen by him, and I would run in my room and waited until he went in his room. I get irritated easily when things don't go my way, and I get upset and cry. I feel like I'm too prone to stress.

Thing are better for me, but I still cry very often and get stressed easily often.

I also went to free therapy that was weekly supported by the state for around four months. It was okay at first, I just cried a lot when I'd have to tell her my feelings or experiences. But when she started to show that she couldn't understand just a tiny bit, or the communication got frustrating for me, I just stopped going as well.

I don't know if I have some problem with me that I have to go through or fix, or something else. I'm pretty online, so I took anxiety and autisum 'tests' from multiple sources but gave up because it felt ridiculous to go see a professional because of an online test. Please give me some word of advice or something to look into. I just want some logical explanation or a conclusion that I could hold onto. Am I just acting out for attention? I don't want to be that kind of person and I'm scared.

I'm sorry this is a long post but I've been struggling and need some help. I'm planning to go get prescribed some antidepressants after mid term to actually give it a try this time. English is my second language, I'm sorry if my writing is harder to digest 😓

My throat closes up, I don't know whether it's nervousness, panic, or something else. Recently, I've tried to speak out to my mother about her behavior. She's violent, to her kids that is, she's not afraid to use excessive force such as chokes, kicks, slaps, and other sharp objects to us. I've tried speaking out to her earlier this night after she choked my brother (he's below 10) all because he wasn't able to pull his baby tooth out by himself and that going to the dentist was significantly more costly. I tried my best to shield him of course, majority of the situation was me consoling him while his gums and chunks of his lip were shredded.

After dinner I couldn't hold my tears and she forced me to sit down eating and crying. She jokingly asks why I was crying, "was it because you were scared of blood?" I really wanted to say it out loud but my throat was closed, like actually closed. I couldn't say anything because nothing would get forced out. I finally said to her why would she force him like that and she went ballistic. After a few back and forth (which was mostly just her), it closed up again. I just feel so weak and helpless when it happens. How do I stop my throat from closing up? It'll really help, I really need to gain confidence. I want to speak out to someone as well, but most adults I know likely would stick to my mom's side or shut me up.

So my best friend and I were out on the field and he made a offensive joke so I playfully punched his elbow, then a few seconds later he fell to the ground and said “What the fuck did you just do to me?” And he looked scared and I realized he wasn’t kidding. He laughed it off but I realized it was serious and I felt really scared. I wanted to call for the teacher and turn myself in but he said that he didn’t want that and that it was a accident. I have absolutely no idea what I did, I’m really, really scared for him because he left school after that and I feel so SO bad. I don’t know what happened, I hit his right arm in the back-right region with my knuckles. He didn’t cry but IDK. What happened? I want to know if he’s ok because I got so distracted that I forgot all my homework and I’m all out of sync, now I just want it all to end, as if this was all a dream.

The rising hate on interracial relationships is absolutely disgusting. As a black woman with a white boyfriend seeing members of my own community hating and trying to regress what our ancestors fought and died over?? It’s scary to see and I’m worried about the future for us and our future children

It’s sickening seeing people online literally harass couples and saying “you’re diluting your race” MEMBERS OF my own community. Seeing a group of men who were surrounded by cops get in a young mom’s face and call her toddler a “mudshark” it’s so absolutely scary.

It’s genuinely concerning and concerning for our future children they wont be excepted in a world where they’re “too black or too white” or “too light or too dark” it’s so ridiculous and disheartening.

The ridiculous talking point that “you can’t be pro black and date outside of your race” or calling random white people “oppressors” like when does it end???

Why isn’t it you can’t be pro black and be homophobia or transphobic or colorist?? Why do we constantly look at white people and say they’re the oppressors? Does being pro black mean you can’t love who you love?? It’s ridiculous how people will try to police and judge anything.

People going online and saying oh these couples always look so guilty and ashamed maybe it’s because you’re staring at them THAT HARD to notice.

I’m not chronically online and I do take frequent long breaks but why has it become so cool to under appreciate the sacrifices made by older generations? Why aren’t we all just humans but social constructs of everything? Why do others have to feel so morally inferior and constantly fight over the moral high ground?

It’s bothering me and the safety of my own relationship seeing people literally harass couples or people based off of who they’re with or their color.

Why can’t love just BE love? Why do others constantly think they have to OKAY your existence or others? It’s really heartbreaking.

So basically I go to a tech school so I'm in one of the trade/shop, theres about 20 ish people in there including me and it feels like they're all friends with each other and I'm so incredibly envious. Last year I started off with no friends because it was a new school and I didn't make any friends for the first few months, because I was a quiet kid, kinda depressed and my mom had said I didn't have to stay there all 4 years of high school if I didn't want to, so I knew there was an out, so didn't try as hard to make friends but I still tried.

But I did end up making a few friends, and honestly I don't remember how, I just remembered talking to some people in December/January then in may/June they were my friends. I do remember how I became friends with one of them because it was so incredibly stressful and still effecting me today. But I digress the problem is my envy/me being frustrated at my inability to talk to people, also my one friend who's just randomly stopped talking to me, and I thought the problem was solved since I addressed the situation, we made up, but she went right back to not talking to me.

And the problem was that she asked this guy's friend for his friend's number, and she only did this because earlier in the year she asked if I thought anyone was cute and I said the guy who's number she was trying to get for me. She said she would try but I didn't believe she would actually be able to since apparently she couldn't, and my friends in the past never did anything for me like that. But one day she came up to me and said she that the night before she asked his friend for his number, and she didn't tell his friend why she wanted it just that she was 'trying to get it for a friend'. And I heard from eavesdropping he 'had an idea of who wanted his number' and I hate it when someone thinks I like them, and even if I do they don't need to know that.

So after I learned all that I was kinda freaking out because I was pretty overwhelmed, and later that day in school, she was teasing me about it and I told her 'I didn't wanna talk about it' and she said 'so what did I even do this for?' Or something along those lines and she kinda just shut down around me. I understood why she would say and act like that but I was still stressing the fuck out. Later than day after school, I got his number from her, since he gave it to her, I texted him smoothed things over with him and explained what happened, we became friends and for the last 2 days of school we played poker with a few other people. Also the last 2 days in school I didn't spend as much time with her but when I did she wasn't really talking to me and I asked her if it was because of the number thing and I wanted to make sure it wasn't, she said it wasn't, then after those 2 days summer started and we didn't text often since she usually takes days to respond to me.

Then this year started she wasn't really talking to me again, I texted her about it and apologized if she was mad at me about how I reacted, she said she wasn't mad at me about that and said we'd go back to normal. But we didn't. I ended up asking one of out mutual friends if she was mad at me, and what our mutual friend told me was that she thought I was mad at her about the number situation(which btw I'm not, I'm actually pretty happy she did, he's really fucking nice😭). I've tried to talk to her about it but she kept walking away so I just told one of our other mutual friends what our other friend told me and that I wasn't mad at her at all, and idk if she did. And honestly I really miss out friendship, idk what happened but it sucks knowing I lost a friend over such a stupid miscommunication. And I understand that teenage girls can be like this, but I think this is a little ridiculous.

The other thing is that I don't know how to become friends/be able to talk to the people in my shop, because everyone just talks to everyone so easily and the people in my shop are really nice too. I talk to them but not a lot. I don't wanna sound dramatic but I'm yearning to be able to talk to them but I don't know how to. Also theres this tension between me and the friend I made through that miscommunication so we don't talk in shop yet we text, and I've been trying to approach him but I don't know how and its so frustrating, because he so approachable. Plus for the past 4 ish years I've felt like the person who makes the duo a trio, as in the 'duo in the trio'. So now that I'm in an environment where I'm feeling like that everyday, its been horrible. The mix of envy, frustration and loneliness is horrible, and I don't let the enviousness make me do anything mean to my friends because I'm grateful for them so I wouldn't want to do anything to push them away so I just keep those feeling bottled up. Obviously those feelings come out one way or another ans its usually me spontaneously combusting into tears, and its happened 3 times already this year. And I really don't want that to continue to happen, I really wanna be able to become friends with the people in my shop but I really dont know how to. I know high school isn't typically a walk in the park but it shouldn't be so bad theres a 50/50 chance you'll cry over the smallest inconvenience, like onions not stinging your eyes like they usually do, because you're so tired of everything.