r/problems

Okay,so I am young and I usually don't get into reddit,but I have a serious problem with my older brother. He always calls me sped/autistic or retarded,and those are offensive and he does it everywhere and to whatever I do. He also says it in front of our parents and they just tell him to "be nice" or something and it's honestly getting to me more now. He also always has to comment on my appearance, what I like, and what music I listen to. I'm a major fan of Kpop and whenever I would talk abt it or play the music,he told me to turn my "gay music" off or something of the sort,so I just don't talk abt it anymore. He also likes to call me fat,and he used to tell me to c0mm!t for trying to talk to him/hang out but our parent's put a stop to it 4 weeks in of me telling them. I honestly just stay in my room all day and talk to my friends or doomscroll because it's easier. I promise im not trying to victimize myself,as I am also not perfect but I never say any of these things he's said to me to anybody. What do I do? I don't know at this point.​

Ok Reddit I need help. I am turning 21 in 2 days. But for a back story I’m going to introduce a character we will call her Piper. Well Piper and I were best friends for almost 2 years or so; but after a few things she has pulled I started to back away from her. Rewind to about a few months ago I was still living with my parents and Piper and I decided to go to a abandoned building( horrible idea on my part) well she knows my anxiety with meeting new people that I would at least like a little bit of a notice before meeting someone. Well she said it would be just us and her bf. Ok that’s fine. Well we started to leave and we stop and this random house and this person I do not know- I start to panic. She gets in the car and I say hi. We start driving to the place and I try to pitch into conversations and well I’m completely ignored. Ok. Then we get on the freeway and when I say her bf was driving so recklessly I mean it. We almost got into multiple car crashes . A drive that was meant to take 30 only took 15. Well I kept asking her to tell him to slow down because I was panicking even more and I was in a full blown panic attack. She completely ignored me. After 10 times of asking her I stopped and just delt with it. Now we get to the place and it’s in downtown Denver well I stupidly walked off to the sidewalk to catch my breath and calm down. I know I made a mistake doing that but in that moment I thought it was ok. Then fast forward a few minutes later I was in the back of the group the whole time and my ADHD self got caught by everything especially because I love the paranormal. Bit that caused me to get lost and left behind- completely my fault. I called Piper and asked her where to go and she just basically said idk figure it out. Well I tried to figure it out and became more lost. I heard people in the place and started to freak out because I heard glass breaking behind me. So I hid in this closet thing for 30 min trying not to freak out. Any ways a lot of other crappy things happened but fast forward to when I got home- she said that those people were sneaking up on me with shards of glass and she didn’t no anything?! Cool ok. Well that’s when I realized she was a POS and on top of that she never really felt like a friend. She only felt like a mom which isn’t what I needed. Anyways fast forward to middle of January. I had just got done hanging out with my boyfriend and was on my way home. When I got home they wanted me to pick up some cheese and wine mind you I don’t have a car and well I didn’t have a job at this time. They started saying “come have your boy toy come get you and take you” well o said no because he was almost back to his house ( he lives 15 min away) they said ok you can walk (it was 11 at night and around 30 degrees) I asked why they couldn’t get it and they basically ignored me. Well being a good bf that he is- he came to get me and he respectfully asked my mom for gas money since he had to drive back just to take me to the store when they could have. My mom blew up and started talking crap about my bf and well my bf mom is protective and that did not got well. Long story short- my parents texted in the group chat to lock the door and not let me in. I started my new job the next day so the cops were called for a keep the peace. They did not like that at all. Then I got the immediate things I needed and left. The next morning I texted them saying lmk when you guys want me back home and she said no “you have to schedule a day and time to come get all your stuff” no warning nothing. I was shocked. Then everyone started saying that I made the choice to leave. I didn’t want to leave. Even though I did not feel loved in that house and I got an unfinished basement to live in that had water damage. I didn’t want to leave. Then I found out that Piper moved in to my old room and was wearing my clothes and my perfumes and makeup. Which of you know- those aren’t cheap. Anyways I cut them off and I’ve been trying to keep into contact with my dad and somehow some way they are still figuring out ways to hurt me. Like my grandma keeps posting about my sister even though my bday is in 2 days. I suck at telling stories to let me know if you have questions but I just need advice. I’m hurt and it’s been months now. I don’t know what to

TW: Suicide and self-harm

I (18F) met someone(13M) on Vrchat a few months ago. We met in a place where you can listen to music and watch YouTube. It was a public world, so no one knew each other. Me and the kid, who I'll call "Oliver," met and listened to music together. I dont remember what he put on, but the vibe was rock and alt music.

We friended each other, and added each other on discord. Everything was fine and normal to me. Just music buddies. A month later, I decided to check up on the kid, since I know preteens feel like they go through a lot (since emotions are all babies to teenagers have I think). And we get to talking about life and how he is recently. He tells me about how he's attempted to die before, and how he's been cutting, but doesnt want to anymore. So I've been helping him try not to cut anymore. I've been in a spot like that when I was around his age, but I dont think he has anyone other than me to help him stop like I did. I made a deal with him, he can only cut a number of times a day (a number I choose) for however long is needed. So far, the number has been 2-3, and will probably stay that way. If he cuts more than that, I call or get on Vrchat with him for the day. (He tends to call me often, so thats what we're working with.)

Ever since then, he's been talking to me almost everyday about things that range from hurting himself or others, others hurting him, getting hurt somehow, the relationships he's in, games he's played recently, music artists he enjoys, or people/things he'd smash. I always tell him to be careful, since its not like I can help or stop him physically.

I'd like to say that I'm sort of on a spectrum of asexual to pansexual (or demisexual probably), so I have set boundaries about sexual talk and things like that. I never knew preteens boys were so... open about sex. (I mean, I did when I was that age, but as an adult now looking back, it's odd.) He tells me things I never wanted to know, especially from a boy who considers me his mom, and I consider him my child. Oliver's dating someone right now who's his age, and whom Oliver has sent me pictures of before. In the pictures I've been sent, they're all at least containing a bulge, which I'm honestly not okay with, and I've told Oliver such. I dont want want to see a boy's bulge (or any man's for that matter). Especially since theyre under 18. There was once time where Oliver sent one of those pictures of his boyfriend to me, and asked me what I thought. I said I'm not going to say anything because 1. Thats a child to me, 2. That's not something I should comment about(since im really firm about not talking about taken people's bodies unless its from a strictly anatomical "that person has a nice eye shape" sort of way), and 3. Even if I didnt have those two things, I wouldn't even know what to say, since I dont naturally think about bodies like that.

He's done drugs, told me about his lovelife(which, should be illegal since he's dated people even older than me), cutting more than our agreed amount, and about videos that have messed with his head. I dont know what to do. Oliver stresses me out. He asks me for help but doesn't take my advice. I've asked a friend who I consider a father figure for help, used his advice to give to Oliver, but Oliver still doesnt take that. The only thing that HAS worked is telling him it makes me cry or makes me sad when he cuts or does something harmful to himself. I don't want to emotionally manipulate him since that isn't healthy, and I've seen how that affects people. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope when it comes to trying to help Oliver. I'm tired and stressed, but I dont want to leave him behind because I know, if I was in his shoes, I would've been long gone. But the stress that he gives me shouldn't be so much to where I go back to self-harming(I stopped self-harming for at least a year or a year and a half until a few weeks ago, where Oliver found a gun and insisted he wanted to shoot his head with it despite my begging.)

I need help, I dont know what to do.

I share three children with my ex. We split about a year and a half ago. Since then, he has had very little involvement with them.
When I say little involvement, I mean very little. He rarely exercised visitation, showed little interest in their day-to-day lives, and was largely absent when it came to the actual responsibilities of parenting. He was not involved in daycare, school, appointments, or emergencies. There were many times I had to drop everything because he simply would not step up.
Until now.
Almost overnight, his level of involvement changed after he started dating someone new.
If this were simply about him becoming a more involved father, I would genuinely welcome that. My children deserve a present and engaged father. That is not the issue.
The issue is the behavior surrounding this sudden change, particularly involving his new girlfriend and the boundaries that have repeatedly been crossed.
The first major red flag happened before she had even met me or my children.
She made a social media post about me that multiple people sent to me. In the post, she essentially implied that she was better than me and that my ex was finally getting “the woman he deserved.”
This came from someone who had never met me, never spoken to me, and knew absolutely nothing about me beyond whatever version of events he may have told her.
That immediately made me uncomfortable. Instead of entering the situation neutrally and respectfully, she came in already hostile toward me and already viewing me as competition.
Even so, I bit my tongue and chose not to engage.
I simply made it clear to my ex that because this was a brand-new relationship, I was not comfortable with our children meeting her yet. I felt that was a reasonable boundary. I wanted to see whether the relationship was stable before introducing someone new into our children’s lives.
He was angry about that.
The second major incident happened right before Easter, and at this point she still had not met my children.
She posted a picture of three Easter baskets—one for each of my children. In the caption, she talked about how excited she was to “finally have girls to shop for,” and referred to herself as a “girl mom” and a “bonus mom.”
For context, she has three teenage sons of her own.
I brought this up with my ex and told him it made me uncomfortable that she was already referring to herself as a parental figure without ever even meeting my children. I found it disrespectful and honestly distasteful.
He disagreed.
She eventually messaged me and said she was not trying to cause problems, that she respected that I was the children’s mother, and that the post did not mean anything by it.
She did not take the post down.
Again, I let it slide.
After about a month, I finally agreed to let the children meet her, but with clear boundaries.
Our court order specifically states no overnight visits involving new romantic partners. I made it clear I was not comfortable with the children staying overnight at her house. Again, my ex was upset by that boundary.
Eventually he agreed that overnight visits would happen at his mother’s house instead.
After only the second visit, my daughter came home with a new phone.
The phone had a passcode, parental controls, time limits, app restrictions, and even contact restrictions set up by his girlfriend. I did not have the password. I could not add family members’ phone numbers or access basic settings.
I reached out to my ex and politely asked for the password.
He refused.
I then messaged her directly and explained that I was uncomfortable with my daughter having a phone in my home that she had complete control over after meeting my child only once. I asked for her address so we could simply return the phone.
She ignored me.
A short time later, my oldest daughter was visiting family. My sister-in-law overheard her calling someone “mom” on the phone and asked who she was talking to.
My daughter said she was talking to her dad’s girlfriend.
My sister-in-law later told me that the girlfriend was not correcting her. Instead, she was actively responding to it and saying things like, “Yes, daughter?”
I cannot adequately describe how disturbing I found that.
A child using a title out of confusion is one thing. An adult encouraging it is another.
Things escalated even further.
My ex and his girlfriend went to every daycare in our city trying to locate my children and attempted to get access to them without my permission. He only has every-other-weekend visitation.
She also continued posting my children on social media in ways that portrayed herself as their mother.
Then my oldest daughter, who is eight, finally broke down and told me she “couldn’t lie anymore.”
She told me that despite court orders, she had been staying overnight at this woman’s house and that her father had instructed her to lie to me about it.
That was the breaking point.
I stopped overnight visitation completely pending the next court hearing.
These are only some examples. There are far too many incidents to list. Including multiple social media posts talking bad about me.
Communication with my ex has become nearly impossible because he defends her at every stage.
She has repeatedly inserted herself into custody disputes and parental decisions that have nothing to do with her.
For example, instead of simply informing me that my daughter had a cough and allowing me as her parent to decide what to do, she messaged me telling me that I needed to take my daughter to the doctor.
She has also directly messaged me requesting additional visitation time for my ex, which I do not feel is remotely her place.
I have tried very hard to remain calm, reasonable, and focused on the children.
I am not upset because my ex has moved on.
I am upset because a woman who barely knows my children has repeatedly tried to insert herself into a parental role, override boundaries, and involve herself in custody matters.
My children are stuck in the middle.
At this point, I feel exhausted, frustrated, and honestly alarmed. My children have only met this woman 4 times now total. 4 weekends. 8 days.
Am I crazy or would other parents be deeply uncomfortable with this situation too?
Any advice is appreciated.

I live with my family ( me, twin sister, mom, little brother )

We all cook separately because my mom stopped cooking for the entire family. She just cooks for my little brother an herself.

Which means we all need our own ingredients and own food.

And now there's literally NO Place in our fridge and we struggle to get everything in.

It's so bad that sometimes we forget about food because it's hidden, that it molds without anyone noticing.

ANY advice on how to handle that??? Any tips and tricks to make it better ??

I can't wait to move out damn 🥲

Hey everyone. I've been facing some real hard time with my best friend of 7 years. I just really need help. I can't state the whole situation here but i really need help and advice. If anyone is willing to listen to me and help me out, I'll be really glad. I'll state the whole scenario in private msg. Please let me know.

I'm 16M and living in Morocco. My parents constantly insult, threaten, and humiliate me. There used to be physical abuse too, but it stopped as I got older.

I have no relatives I can stay with and no one to ask for help except a long-distance friend. My goal is to leave Morocco one day, hopefully to Germany through an Ausbildung or studying.

I'm not looking for pity. I just want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they managed to get out.

I'm a 18M ,So the thing is that I have developed a very weird habit of sleeping with hugging a pillow. I use two pillows while sleeping one under my head & one for hugging & cuddling.It started with cuddling but now I can't sleep without hugging it ,and many times when i wake up I'm still hugging it.

But this is getting out of hand now as I started kissing it while cuddling, I'm still in my senses & don't see it as a girl but I like to kiss it especially at night & i do it every night because it feels good.I just pretend it as my wife as I will do these things with her kind of practicing for future.Sometimes spoon it or do hip thrusts with clothes on. I think these new things got started as i started reading romance webtoons.

Is it okay or is it bad or it is serious?

Give me some suggestions please?

My boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for two years we have met only twice been to a trip also , but he wants to focus on his career now and said he will only talk to me for an hour everyday that too depends on his mood , like if he is happy he'll talk nicely if not then I must understand his situation, he is trying to land a job we've fighting for over six months now he got so used to it that doesn't even pay any attention if I block him i don't talk to him or anything , he says I distract him too much when all I ask is some time from his day only for me , and for him to miss me like I do , i mean sure by all means focus on your career but the time you said you will keep seperated for me atleast talk to me with love when I block u for acting like an ass say that u still love me mail me i mean do anything but just don't get used to without me . What should I do ?? I mean chatgpt also said I should let him be, leave him alone but i don't want my relationship to have this pathetic ending. I understand his situation but i don't want to compromise my own needs from a guy who said he will never leave me , any humane advice would be nice , I feel like I am leaving him in his hard time but he is all like find a nice guy , leave me , I am not good for you in a conceited way , I am between choosing myself and my live for him

Pretend you are a manipulative and narcissistic. And please give me advice, I want a soft sweet revenge i have endured a lot. I don’t wanna let her get away with this anymore.

I’m in a relationship with someone who I believe has been manipulative and emotionally controlling. From everything I’ve found out, she’s involved with multiple people at the same time. There’s one girl who, from what I understand, is providing her with financial support and a path to a visa, so I believe she stays in that relationship because it benefits her. At the same time, she’s also talking to her ex again and messaging other girls.
Recently, we had a fight. Right after I left, she contacted her ex. The next day, despite me previously telling her how much it would hurt me, she went to meet the other girl.
After our fight, I logged out of my own social media accounts. Somehow, I ended up logged into hers. I genuinely don’t know how it happened, but I had access to her account. I know I shouldn’t have looked, but I did. I saw the chats, calls, photos, and everything that confirmed what had been happening. Later, I think she realized I had accessed her account. She asked about it, I denied it, and she dropped the subject, but I think she knows I saw something.
We met yesterday. I acted completely normal and didn’t confront her. We had a drink together, and then she suddenly said, “I have to tell you something.” She told me she had gone to meet the other girl. I didn’t shout or argue. I simply pushed her away and told her not to touch me or talk to me. She seemed genuinely surprised by my reaction. Then she immediately told me to relax and claimed she was “just kidding.” She repeatedly apologized for joking and even bowed down to my feet while apologizing.
At the same time, she kept telling me how much she loves me, that she can’t stay away from me, and that she has never felt this level of comfort, love, happiness, and connection with anyone else. Part of me feels like she only brought up meeting the other girl because she suspected I already knew and wanted to see how I would react.
To make things worse, after they met, the other girl posted a picture of them wearing rings with the caption “engaged.” It was deleted later, but people who knew about my relationship with her had already seen it. I feel deeply humiliated and embarrassed.
I’m completely confused. I don’t understand what’s going on in her head. I don’t know whether she genuinely loves me, whether she’s keeping me around for emotional support, or whether she’s simply trying to keep everyone in her life for different reasons. She constantly tells me she needs my love, care, and attention and says I’m the only person who gives her those feelings, yet her actions don’t match her words.
I’m trauma bonded to this relationship, and that’s what’s making this so difficult. A part of me wants to confront her with everything I know. Another part wants to stay quiet and show no reaction. And, if I’m being completely honest, another part of me wants to make her feel the same pain she made me feel by making her dependent on me and then walking away.
I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore, and I need an honest outside perspective because I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. I wanna know her POV pretend you are her(a manipulative, narcissistic person)

So I had to siphon gas out of a cat for me to put it into mine it was a little mostly the gasses but I don’t know what to do I spit it out as soon as I felt it enter my mouth but I don’t know if what I should do it’s been about 2 hours.

Anybodys chatgpt ain't working? I asked mine to create something and it said that I wasn't the problem but the photo generator thing was. Anybody else?

So I am an older brother of 2 siblings, being my younger brother and my younger sister, who is 15 years old (turning 16) but lately she has been talking about this guy online that she met on a Roblox game and they just hit it off talking about games and life. Nothing weird right? I mean i knew she had a "Binary" Friend and an LGBTQ friend that she met on a different Roblox game too (both identifying as girls or wtv). But this guy that she talks apparently lives in Nebraska and i see her talking to him Every. Single. Day. I can hear her talking to him from downstairs in my office while im trying to work. Nothing wrong yet supposedly, But one day she said that he HAS a girlfriend currently and that the dude talks to my sister more than his actual girlfriend, which imo is a huge red flag. Besides that, he also crams a shit ton of energy drinks and allegedly alcohol (she showed me screenshots of his desk and it looked like a bud light allegedly). Did i also mention that He is 17 years old, ALMOST turning 18 (Not super weird tho). Anyways sometimes i peek at her phone and her discord call time is 12 HOURS IN A VOICE CALL with this random guy that "she knows so well." Besides that, he also wants to "get a bike so he can speed down the freeway" (his choice wtv). But I feel that this dude is a bad influence on my sister, but she will not listen to anyone. My little brother who is 14 btw is just as concerned and also tried to tell her to be "cautious." My Parents seem to not care too much so i feel like im obligated to do something. Also I just overheard her say "your so cute" to this guy who she says "is probably drunk because he sounded so cute and drunk." I feel like she is gonna turn into those (forgive me for saying this) "bad girls" or whores that get abused but idk i feel like im just ranting. Also a side note one of her other online friends had sex with a 17-year-old (that friend is 14). I just have a feeling that these people are not good influences on my sister. (she doesnt have many friends in school and outside of school, because they all treat her like shit). But if anyone has any advice or needs details or has any way to help please let me know. Im going to repost this in many story subreddits. (PS)- If someone can make one of those Tiktok or Youtube reddit Storytimes it might reach my sister so she can see it. Many Thanks Guys, please feel free to lmk.

Im a 14 yo that haves problem with lust and i mean like sexualizing women and sometimes watching porn cuz im beating it once a week but i feel like i have problem with it and i pray to god for helping me with lust but i feel like its kinda lack of love cuz i dont feel loved much by my family even tho i see they care for me and i also feel set aside in my friend group even tho im a leader and many more

Guys I have a question, my best friend/my love treating me like a ghost if I'm don't giving her much attention or don't do what she want me to do, I rlly love her but I have my own big problems with my mental health if someone can help me I will say more details in private message, pls someone I'm close to killing my self, and mods please don't delate this

Curious about this because I keep hearing conflicting things. Genuinely want to understand how this works in practice, not just in theory.

Some things I've been wondering:

What's the first thing your family does when someone falls sick and the nearest doctor is far away — go to a local pharmacist, travel to the

nearest town, call a relative, or just wait it out?

Roughly how far/long is a trip to see an actual doctor, door to door?

Has anyone here done a video consultation with a doctor before? Did it actually work out, or was it more trouble than it was worth?

What's stopped you (or people you know) from trying one — bad internet, not trusting a doctor you can't meet, cost, or just not knowing it's an option?

Who usually ends up deciding what medicine to take in your area — a doctor, the local pharmacist, or just past experience/guesswork?

Would ₹150–200 for a video consult feel reasonable compared to what a trip + doctor's fee usually costs?

How's the internet where you are — fine for video calls, or mostly patchy/2G?

Would you trust a voice-based tool that just listens to your symptoms (in your own language) and tells you if it's serious enough to see a doctor — or does that feel like something you wouldn't rely on?

Not trying to sell anything, just trying to understand what actually happens on the ground before assuming I know. Answer whatever's relevant to you, skip the rest.

I’ve been in a really tough place lately and I don't know what to do. My behavior and emotions have become completely unpredictable.One moment I can act like the happiest person in the world, completely ignoring all my problems. But as soon as I start crying, a wave of intense sadness and depression hits me out of nowhere. My mood drops instantly, I get nervous tics, and I become so overwhelmed that I can easily yell at someone on purpose.It feels like I can't control my own reactions anymore, and it's exhausting. Has anyone else experienced these extreme emotional swings? How do you cope with this or calm down when it happens? I really need some advice on how to fix this or at least manage it.

I (26M) have been working at a corporate job for almost 3 years now. It pays well, my parents are proud of me, and on paper everything looks fine. But honestly, I dread waking up every single day. I've lost interest in it completely, I'm mentally drained, and lately it's even affecting my sleep and appetite.

The problem is my parents sacrificed a lot to get me into a good college and this job was kind of the "goal" they always talked about to relatives. If I tell them I want to quit and figure out something else (even if I don't have a clear plan yet), I feel like it'll break their trust in me or make them feel like their efforts went to waste.

I'm not asking to just abandon responsibility I do want to work, I just want to do something that doesn't feel like it's slowly killing me inside. But I don't know how to bring this up without it turning into a huge fight or them thinking I'm being irresponsible/ungrateful.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you approach the conversation with your family? Did things get better eventually, or should I just stick it out for a few more years?

Any genuine advice is appreciated. Not looking for jokes, just real perspectives.