does someone’s past mistake permanently define who they are after they’ve genuinely changed?
hi everyone, this is my first time using reddit. i recently deleted instagram and tiktok because i realized that social media was affecting me in ways that weren’t good for me, and i wanted some space to reflect.
i’m looking for some outside perspectives on something that’s been on my mind. about a year ago, i made a serious mistake in a relationship. i was unfaithful, and the relationship ended because of it. i take responsibility for what i did, and i don’t expect anyone to pretend that it wasn’t wrong. after the relationship ended, i spent a lot of time reflecting on my behaviour and the kind of person i wanted to become. since then, i’ve made changes in my life and intentionally stopped some of the habits and behaviours that i realized could make other people uncomfortable or hurt them. i know that changing doesn’t erase what i did in the past. i also understand that people who knew me before may still remember me based on who i was at that time
but i’m struggling with something: how much should someone’s past define how others see them? if someone genuinely acknowledges their mistakes, takes responsibility, changes their behaviour, and continues trying to be better, is it fair for people to continue viewing them as the same person forever? i’m not asking anyone to excuse what i did. i’m more interested in hearing how you personally view people who have made serious mistakes but genuinely changed afterward. do you believe people can outgrow the version of themselves that hurt others, or will their past always be part of how they should be judged?