u/Illustrious-Water726

I couldn’t do my first year of college because I couldn’t attend enough but that was before my diagnosis now I know what’s wrong with me my doctors know what’s wrong with me I’m entitled to help for this thing that is taking over my life but NO apparently I’m to young to get any meds I’m 17 for crying out loud not 7 there are 13 year olds on antidepressants but god forbid I get the most common treatment for my illness which happens to be THE EXACT SAME THING. I can’t sleep I’m tired my neck feels like it’s on fire and I am FORCED to sound stupid in every conversation I have because I can’t remember the right fucking words to say. I am waiting for my doctors to GRANT ME THE ABILITY TO LIVE A SOME WHAT NORMAL FUCKING LIFE. I’m 17 for crying out loud I’ve been dealing with this for most of my teenage years god forbid I want some semblance of normality for my minimal remaining teenage hood. I hate this so much and no body fucking understands that yes I’m young that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the same fucking pain as older people if I hear one more “just wait till you get older love” when I confide in someone my pain I will fucking explode into thousands of pieces yes you are old yes you have arthritis or back pain THIS ISNT A FUCKING WHO IS WORSE OLYPICS AND EVEN IF IT WAS ID PROBABLY FUCKING WIN YOU OLD HAG. I’m so over with this genuinely what am even supposed to do at this point I wish someone would tell me because apparently I’m not doing enough. I just want to have fun and enjoy my life instead I in bed with a heat pack at 1:41 am because god knows I can’t sleep I so genuinely done. I just want the help i need but no one wants to give it to me not something to help me sleep or help with my vivid nightmares my headaches my pain Jesus not even something as minimal is fucking constipation it’s either don’t shit for two weeks or take a laxative that feels like it’s tearing my insides apart. I used to be so active even when I younger I was disciplined with it to from primary school to year 8-9 I’d go on six am bike rides every morning because it made me feel good I was in every sport I could be in I was the best in my class as swimming so much so that they opted me out of the school lessons because otherwise I’d just be sitting around I was my schools goalkeeper for year four taken to every competition even with the older kids and now what am I I sit in bed and draw if my hands don’t hurt to much any try to have freinds that don’t hate me when I can’t hang out often what the fuck how is this even fair anymore i never did anything to deserve this I’ve never hit someone or started a fight or stolen anything ever hell i don’t even tell white lies because I feel ti bad this is like some super unjustified punishment for being alive. Wow that felt good to get out that is a lot of writing.

17 avg weight. Fibro+pots . I have been nauseous at night almost every night for months maybe two or three I think it doesn’t matter what I eat when I eat how much water I drink I’ve tried pepto and acid reflux tablets to no avail. I genuinely don’t know what to do I was going to mention it at an up and coming drs appointment but I always feel like such an a hole mentioning things that aren’t the primary reason for my visit. Is this something i should be concerned about also remedies the best I’ve got rn is sleeping sitting up and chewing mints like there’s no tomorrow and supping my water. Any ideas the cause i really can’t deal with this it’s impacting me a lot but I’m scared to mention it to the doctors incase they just ignore it.

17 avg weight f i wouldn’t usually be concerned but it’s from different nostrils so idk because if you get a nosebleed in one you had before that that’s expected but both concerns me a bit. My head hurts like all over but mostly at the top and Right side of my head. No injury or anything. Im not sure if this matters but I’ll mention it just in case I have noticed some random bruises recently that I have no recollection of, realy dark red purple ones and in places like my thighs where it’s harder to get harsh bruises without noticing. The nose bleeds start really heavy but stop quickly like I just had my head over the sink letting it drip out coz I didn’t wana waste tissue but it was like covering the whole sink bottom with how heavy the drops were. Also one of the nose bleeds was in the middle of the night so I definitely didn’t do anything to cause it.

Sometimes with things like this it’s nice to look on the bright side like yes I can’t eat chocolate without making a mess because it melts quickly and I have sweaty ahh hands in the summer but also in winter my freinds always hold my hands because there always warm so not all bad. I’m also the phone warmer in winter because my friends phone always glitches out and dies in the cold lol.