A few weeks ago I found a blood spot on my uniform which ended up being from my husbands cat hes had 10 years or so. Ive known her and loved her for 7 years ive thought of her as my own. I had to convince my husband that she needed the vet because he didnt want to believe she was sick the way it looked she was so he was making excuses so he didnt have to realize she wasn't okay.
I went to the vet with her and made sure she had all the testing done when he finally realized it was needed i honestly told him I would take her without the okay if he didn't. I used money I should have been saving for my own specialist I should be seeing for myself because I love her so much and wanted to make sure we figured it out. I got the call back and its cancer. We don't know how long she has im trying to work the bills so i can pay it. The tumor is in a spot she is not savable we were referred to a oncologist.
My husband has been not doing well. I understand the loss of a pet I lost a pet from cancer 20 years ago that I knew for 13 so years ive lost a pet I knew for over 20 years . Its not easy not to mention other pets ive had for a few years. This is also the third time ive dealt with cancer and had it take away a pet or close family member and ive been trying to step up and help. this is his first pet loss and first time dealing with cancer. I figured i could be of some help due to my past
The main issue is his family member got involved because I was asleep one night and she has been basically deciding the cats future without my help at the time. I had issues with her in the past and went no contact with her she tried to plan my future and my husbands without me involved to a move that was canceled because in all honesty she assumes I can't do much due to autism supposibly finding a job and housing in a differnt state is too hard . My husband went very low contact with her due to that as well.
I found out he was planning the cats end life without me having any type of say in it with her and I got upset because it triggered past trauma with her and told him I wanted him to come with me for this stuff not just run to the family member . He ended up saying I was being a huge c you next tuesday and trying to make her death all about me.
I took him off Facebook unadded all our mutual friends I met from him and deactivated my Facebook. I told him I refused to be with someone who used that term at his wife. We are currently basically and a weird in between where we are trying to deal with her and surviving at least I am.
He has been so mean to me though hes been lashing out no matter what I do he gets mad. I mentioned that I couldnt pay for the whole vet trip because I would only have 300 after buying groceries (in all honestly ill likely just get ramen and bread this week) to pitch in and asked how much he would have but he wouldnt have any because of rent. He made the appointment not thinking if I would be able to go or if the person driving him would be able to do it i cant drive due to medical and he cant due to him just getting his work visa. And I understand its a thing that needs to be done fast but the person who offered to drive him is not normally able to be doing things that early. He got upset when I told him I might not have the amount of money needed in a week and said he'd cancel it then and we wouldnt see how long we had left with her.
I am crying myself to sleep every night because im having to mourn basically alone and deal with my husband who's lashing out . And everyone keeps telling me that I need to understand hes going through something bad but she's my cat too . Im having to figure out how to pay for my bills put my medical stuff off more (I am going to have to cancel one of my pain pills I need for my medical issues this month because I frankly won't be able to afford it)
I honestly dont know if our marriage will end up lasting after this.