Anyone else constantly scared of messing up at their job?
Heyyy...
So basically I’m almost graduating college next month and I got an internship offer at a great company in the city.
The thing is... I don’t know why I’m so scared all the time.
I struggle a lot with back pain and gastrointestinal issues, and I immediately associate them with stress. Last year I had my first internship and, honestly, the experience was awful. Long story short: it was my introduction to micromanagement. My boss made me cry in front of my coworkers. She was extremely invasive to the point where she would call me out if I went to the restroom and wasn’t stuck at my desk.
So yeah... that experience made me scared of having another job.
On top of that, the fact that I’m almost getting my degree is making me question whether I chose the right path. I know it probably sounds stupid to question it this late, but I can’t help it sometimes.
I also feel like I don’t naturally fit the “profile” I usually see around me. Sometimes it takes me extra effort to fully understand things. During college, I had to work much harder than other people to understand theory and stop feeling intimidated around others.
Now I’m in a company surrounded by coworkers who are older and much more experienced than me, and I have to develop a project there. I’m constantly scared of messing up, misunderstanding things, or realizing I’m not actually meant to be in this field.
I think what affects me the most is that I take mistakes very personally. Being questioned makes me nervous, and I still don’t know how to handle that insecurity in professional environments.
Has anyone else felt this way during internships or right before graduating? :/