What do you do with medium abilities? Lost
Most of the nights I don't dream but when I do it's about someone dying. One time I "was" a soldier hiding in a ruined building, who was captured and killed, "I" then watched the angry mob from the above.
As a kid I used to dream more often, almost every night and used to keep a journal, but I destroyed it or threw away.
I thought these are manifestations of negative thoughts or a warning sign that something bad is going to happen, so far it didn't but it's hard to shake off that impression. I feel slightly nauseous after waking up because of the visuals and it feels like it really happened moments ago.
I asked a tarot reader what is the meaning behind those dreams (didn't know me, but I asked non-personal questions before anonymously and the answers seemed to match the untold parts that I knew about but left them out). Said it's "just" a spirit contact and "maybe I should do it". I never felt drawn to it.
The card spread looked like this: queen of wands, ace of pentacles, the star, two of cups, death, and the sun.
Since that reading I was wondering if that's why I had an obsession with death since a child (excessively fearing it or fascinated by it), live as a recluse and find it hard to connect to "reality" and other people.