u/Horror_Quail_5539

I'm 26F Indian and I feel like the women I've grown up around, extended family members and some Indian friends from university are so nasty and rude about my appearance. For context, I'm average pretty, dress glamorous, do my makeup, curvy, and I get attention from men, and i have defined 2c curly hair that are like ringlets at times.

My mum and my sister criticise my appearance so much. Everything from my weight to telling me im disgusting if i wear tight clothes, hating on my nail polish colour or nose piercing. My mum always told me that one day I'll get fat like her and my husband might leave me too. When I straighten my hair, they also have strong reactions and tell me I look bad even though i get so many compliments outside family. I've been at weddings where my mums friends will say my hairstyle doesnt suit me or that I dont look as nice.

My best friend is also Indian and shes literally told me that curvy bodies are not trendy anymore, she's always asked in front of other people why men are even into me. She told me the only nice thing about me are my boobs. In the same breath, when I told her I wear sports bras in the gym, shes said that nobody is admiring me, and that they're all judging me for showing cleavage. Recently she said if she wore tight clothes like me, she'd feel insecure all the time.

To clarify I've met so many loving and good hearted brown women, but the ones above have literally contributed to my body dysmorphia. I just don't understand why some people talk to me that way and feel comfortable critiquing my fashion choices.

Im 26F and just got out of a serious relationship with a guy I was planning to get married to later this year. He met my family who are conservative, religious Muslims and they gave us a deadline of September to get a Nikah (Islamic marriage). We both had a chat several weeks later and admitted that neither were ready to get married and decided to part ways due to other incompatibility issues.

I've told my family I want to move out and live alone, potentially work abroad in my late 20s, and just become more independent but they told me I'm stupid and that I'd call my mum crying if I did any of those things because i couldnt cope. For context, I have a successful career, financially independent, contributing to the household, but lived at home to maximise savings for the past 5 years since I graduated from uni.

Despite being successful and independent, my relationship suffered because my family would lose their shit every time I stayed over at a friend's place (I was actually staying at my bfs), threaten to kick me out if I leave the house past 9pm and constantly critique my clothing. I still have to change my outfit when I leave the house because of how hard it is. I cant wear tank tops even in 35 degree weather. Im basically stuck in my room a lot.

Am I stupid and immature for wanting to live alone in London or travelling. I dont think I can grow or get into another relationship until I live alone.