I hate my life
Im genuinely so done, life has been absolutely awful lately and I doubt its ever going to improve. Nothing is going right for me and I have no motivation anymore to do anything. I am extremly behind compared to my peers. Im 19 and still dont have a license and I cant even drive well enough to do my test. Highschool was a mess of mental health issues and has resulted in me having to live at home and take a gap year to do classes. My family is horrible and I feel like im going crazy being on high alert all the time. My parents moods are so bipolar and the littlest things set them off. I dont think there isn't one night during the week where everybody isn't fighting with eachother.
Im so fucking depressed and I cant open up to anyone about it to get help, I have 0 motivation to do any my hobbies I used to enjoy doing, or go to the gym, or go out and interact with people, im basically just at home all the time sleeping or laying in bed. Ive never had a real relationship and the only thing ive ever had have been casual flings with adults twice my age who are only interested in sex. I have 0 friends and have never been able to maintain relationships past a year besides maybe 1 or 2 people. I have a job, but even atpind coworkers i cant seem to click with them. Like people there will literally discuss plans infornt of me involving everyone but me.
Idfk, im just done. I genuinely contribute nothing positive to this world and even just existing sitting in my bed is the most upsetting experience possible. I dont know what to do anymore and I just want my life to be over.