u/HorseOfDamnedDoom

I don’t know if anyone else experiences this but I can’t believe anyone would actually care if I told them about my self harm. And it’s not that I think they don’t like me it’s just I think I’ve separated myself from the consequences of harming myself I don’t understand why anyone would care. This isn’t really a vent post but I’ve been going down rabbit holes of redditors asking how to help friends that sh and it makes me feel odd. Maybe it’s because it’s been so normalized to me from all the sh social media I visit.

I thought urges were supposed to end in 30 minutes but I really really want to cut I feel so bad about my body and I’ve been monitoring my calories and skipping meals but it all feels so worthless the more I cut back on eating the more the little foods feel like. I can’t even eat a snack without guilt tearing me apart and all I think about is food and self harm now. I’m supposed to be getting better but I can’t do this anymore and I can’t cut because my grandma is in just the other room right now. I can’t even speak to my friends about any of this because they’re all already really skinny even though they eat so much more than me and don’t exercise regularly. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life