signs of sexual abuse with no memories?
This is something very personal that grosses me out about myself quite a lot, but basically I have this weird fetish/kink for ENF (embarrassed naked females).
I am a 21 year old woman, and I am completely straight and in a heterosexual relationship. I have never questioned my sexuality nor have I ever had the urge to sexually or romantically pursue women. ENF is the only context in which I am aroused by women. I used to also get aroused by myself being in an enf context but not really anymore.
The thing is, I’ve had this weird thing with enf since I was probably 4 or 5. I remember I used to draw naked women who were embarrassed and one time my mum found them and showed my grandpa and I snatched them away from her.
I have one singular memory of showering when I was approx 8/9 years old with my mother in the bathroom helping me was my hair. My eyes were closed because I was rinsing out shampoo and when I opened my eyes my dad and brother were watching me through a crack in the door and grinning/laughing at me. I get mad every time I think about that memory. However, I was drawing these enf images before this memory occurred.
I’m really confused by this. My dad and brother have never done anything to me from what I can recall and I still see them everyday. Maybe somebody else did something? I’m honestly not sure it just seems strange that I was aroused by this from such a young age.