My boyfriend called me a little bitch
my boyfriend is my fp. my boyfriend and i are long distance and we usually always call when he goes on break at work. just now we called and he told me he only had 18 minutes left on his break to which i complained and another coworker came in to which he then said "my coworker just came in while you were complaining like a little bitch"
i told him that hurt my feelings and he apologized but i was still hurt yet didnt want to hang up so we both stayed quiet for a while. he was asking how to make me feel better and i told him i dont know that i want to understand why he would say that to which he explained it was a lighthearted joke and how everyone in school says it and its not serious. i told him ive only ever heard it in genuinely negative or self depricating ways and he kept trying to defend that it was only a joke and hes bad at telling jokes over because of the tone of his voice but he still apologized. he had to leave and asked if we want to talk about this when hes home to which i said no and that im not gonna text him the rest of the day and remove myself from him because he hates me and thinks im an annoying little bitch. he said he doesnt want that and then apologized again for leaving and then hung up
im struggling not to hurt myself or worse. hes gone he has no wifi and he wont be home for another 4 hours and all i want to do is hurt myself and block him forever so he doesnt have to deal with my dramatic and horrible antics anymore. why would he ever say that to me how do i cope with this i know it was a joke but why would he ever jokingly think of me as a little bitch and call me that in front of someone else i feel humiliated and hopeless. he didnt even care that i wont text him anymore he didnt protest or anything
this happens so often where he accidentally says something that hurts me and i get so butthurt i completely spiral and break down over the smallest thing i dont know how to make it stop