u/Hot-Film-9631

I had my first in person meeting and it triggered a lot I guess. Just drank a bottle of rosè and that deep shame and guilt has announced its self.

72 days ago I promised my friend I’d stop drinking, this was in replacement of a different promise of “I’ll see you soon”. I made the no drinking promise at his grave will drinking a can of wine, then I went to the near by Starbucks and ripped open the can to lick the inside so I could taste it a bit more since i wasn’t ready for that to be my last drink. I ended up having a wine in a pub that night but that glass was the last for 72 days. I broke that promise to him tonight and I don’t really know what to do with that.

Is it common to want to drink more after your first meeting?

I had my first (in person) meeting today, it was really scary and was shaking the whole way through and cried a good bit. I went with a half hope that I wouldn’t relate to anything anyone said and it would be a funny story of how dramatic I am. That however did not happen, it felt like a stab to the stomach and feels like a collapse in my identity. The past few weeks the cravings have just been getting stronger and now it feels crushing.

Edit: I did end up drinking, ik the advise will be sober up and go to a meeting. That’s the plan it’s a min past midnight so will finish this bottle, sleep, go to work, meeting and then meeting a friend. Thank you for all the comments, its nice to know that it’s just a mee thing to feel this way ❤️

Hi, I hope it’s okay I’m posting again. I’m just kind of using this for support and that since I’m still early days and I’m don’t have a sober support system yet.

I have my first meeting tomorrow, my friends were going to come in with me but they are uncomfortable with that since they are still big drinkers. They are going to meet me before and then I’m going to meet them after. In my mind I’m going to go and be surrounded by 40 yr old men, not a bad thing at all but I feel like I’d struggle to relate to them since I’m a 21 yr old woman.

I am so fucking scared though and that fears making cravings so intense which is giving me that panicky anxiety. In Scotland we have a law that you can’t buy alcohol after 10pm so I’m just trying to get myself there. You can still buy drink in pubs but it’s harder for me to get away with (life360 on my phone and an avid stalker of a best friend 😂).

But yeah if anyone would be willing to share how the meetings work and all that I’d be super grateful. I know they are all different but any insights would be deeply appreciated, especially any Scottish/UK based stories.

Hi, I just wanted to talk about this quickly. It’s stuck in my head on no one in my person life is going to get it.

The past week I’ve been craving alcohol like I never have before, in a couple hours I’ll be 70 days sober which feels like a lot for me. My drinking isn’t as bad as it could be and I’m so grateful for my friends, the minute my drinking was getting dangerous they made sure I knew how it effects them and how concerned they are. I am also really grateful that I’ve been in therapy for other stuff for coming up 2 years in August which makes the whole denial aspect really hard.

That being said, I have been craving any kind of drink so fucking badly the past week. I’ve had the more mild cravings/intrusive thoughts that I’ve been able to bat away but they just seem to be growing in intensity. The past week my minds been racing with thoughts of “if I just buy a of bottle of wine it’ll be fine. Drink it and you’ll see you don’t actually have an alcohol problem. No one will know if you just don’t tell anyone”. I’ve been so close to buying drink so many times and the cravings just seem to keep growing in intensity. It’s starting to feel more like a compulsion than a thought and I’m scared that I’ll drink and then I’ll have to start over again.

I am going to go to my first meeting on Monday with my friends but they don’t have issues with alcohol the way I do. They are big drinkers, we are Scottish so casual drinking is as common as clouds but they are so deeply supportive of me not drinking.

I just can’t talk to them about how I have genuinely considered drinking mouthwash because I saw an alcoholic character do it in a show once and they seemed fairly satisfied with it. I don’t want to worry them more than I have or scare them into thinking I’m going to put them through it again the way I did when I started drinking again. I’m also trying to rebuild trust with them and show them I can be okay. I am trying to balance leaning on them for support but not crushing them with my weight.

I’m thinking about maybe going to a meeting or something but I never have before. I was thinking about asking my friends to come with me, they are the only two people that really know what my relationship with alcohol is actually like. The idea of going alone makes me want to drink (the irony). They are incredibly supportive but I’m so scared to say to them.

Before I just had “alcohol issues” and drank too much but something happened 7 months ago which was a tipping point for me. Now I’m starting to come to terms with I might actually be an alcoholic which feels more real. If I ask them to come with me that makes it feel extra real, I’m 67 days sober but the past few days I’ve been so close to drinking so many times. I don’t think it’ll stay sober if I don’t do something.

Hi, so I have no clue where I stand with that whole alcoholic thing. I’ve been sober for just over 2 months and it’s been hard, especially the past few days but I don’t know if alcoholic is the right word.

Ever since I could I’ve always drank heavy but there’s been these big gaps in between drinking. Until more recently where it was monthly then weekly. Every time I drink I black out, I just loose control with alcohol and there’s been few times I haven’t blacked out. But I’ve been able to stop for months, but then again I always end up drinking again. I had stopped for a few months then started again but I’m a completely different way.

Before I stopped because I felt it was best, I had mixed feelings about wanting to but decided drink made me a bad person and I wanted to be better. In the past 7 months though it’s been different where I’ll drink way more than I have before, pass out while walking and having my friends phone the police for my safety. Now I do crave alcohol more than I did but I’ve still had a bit of control. I have got really close to drinking the past 2 days tho.

More or less I can’t figure out if I’m an alcoholic because I feel like it’s not severe enough to have that title. I’m stuck in a grey area where it’s stupid to get help for it but I’m scared what will happen if I don’t. Anyways, anyone got any thoughts ?