25F TW: is this normal parenting or gaslighting and abuse?
I remember as a kid my mom tied me to a chair with several belts for “not listening” and then afterwards telling me that she felt bad and that the guilt was getting to her, there were multiple times in childhood where she would do this. She told me as a kid she threw my stuff away but I have no memory of that. She would let people yell at me and say they didn’t know any better or were just trying to help. If I bring this up, she’ll tell me how she didn’t mean any of it and she did it out of love. She would also use food as a punishment and if I did something wrong, I wasn’t allowed to eat. I specifically remember pantries and refrigerators being locked when I was in trouble. Sometimes she’ll try to instill fear in me about going out alone saying she doesn’t want anything bad to happen to me and if I go out alone could get k*lled which she still says this.
When I told her recently I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, she’s telling me I don’t have it and saying she wants a second opinion.