u/Hot-Language7974

Im really proud of myself but have no one to vent to so.. hello strangers

To summarise, got suddenly discarded a few weeks ago after a short but intense relationship - totally blindsided. I don’t let people in easily and I truly believed we were building a future. Hurting BADLY - not eating, not functioning, random meltdowns BAD.

2 weeks on, he reached out with a “check in” text. Nothing of substance or intention. (Honestly a totally pointless message). And something in me snapped.

I took a couple of days to think, and then I responded saying I had been hurt and have no wish for any further casual contact. Despite desperately missing him, and wanting him back, I slammed that door closed. As a chronic people pleaser, setting boundaries is so difficult for me, but I know he wasn’t changing his mind and staying in contact was just going to be harmful.

He replied saying he respected my decision and wouldn’t reach out again. It feels very final now. The following few days have been really painful, but I’m glad I did it. I DID IT!!!

Long story short, I got broken up with from a short budding relationship by text a week ago. It was a total sudden blindside, typical avoidant. I immediately shut down, went into shock, walls went up. 4 months gone in 2 very short, cold texts, and no contact since.

It hit me like a ton of bricks and I missed him desperately. The what ifs from the lack of conversation at the end were killing me. Wondering if it was a typical avoidant freak out and he was having regrets.. I spoke about it with my closest friend, who was shocked at how blunt my response had been and said it sounded like I didn’t care, and maybe I should try reaching out.

So I did. And unsurprisingly I got rejected (again). A conversation has been offered, so I’m still trying to work out if I want to understand his viewpoint at all for more closure, and why he switched up so painfully fast.

I am embarrassed and disappointed, and it definitely felt like a sucker punch, but I’m so glad I did it. I was true to myself, put my cards on the table and it didn’t work out but I know I tried to fight for something I valued hugely, even if he didn’t. I do feel more peace from that added certainty that he’s not regretting his choice, he just doesn’t care. Humbling when I thought our connection was so genuinely reciprocated though. I do slightly wish I could go back and undo this purely to keep my dignity intact! But in the long run I think it was the best choice. Now I can begin to think about how on earth I let go, rebuild and forget him.

Thanks for listening kind stranger