I want to drop out of school
I just turned 18 a few months ago, and I've been thinking about dropping out of school. For some context, I've been homeschooled all my life. My parents got me to about 3rd grade and then completely stopped school, so I wasn't in school until I was 14. I went into 8th grade online, but the same week I was enrolled, I got diagnosed with some health issues and got very sick. Also around this time, my dad found out he had stage four kidney disease.
Because of all that, I failed and redid 8th grade. Then I went into my freshman year at 15 and failed because I got sick again and fell into a deep depression, so I really couldn't focus on school. My dad also continued to get worse, and I had to help take care of him most of the time while my mom worked, which just added more stress for me. Getting sick really messed me up. It's caused eating disorders, bad depression, and anxiety for me, and it's made it hard to really put effort into my education.
I ended up redoing 9th grade and got a quarter of the way through 10th grade last year. I was supposed to be nearly done with my junior year by now, but I'm still in 10th because I lost motivation. If I'm being honest, I feel like a loser and I'm incredibly burnt out. On top of this, I strongly believe I have a learning disability. I've tried speaking to teachers and my parents about it, but no one helps me. I really do care about my education and I've thought about going to college, I love biology and I want to pursue it, but everything feels so difficult and I'm not sure I can do it anymore. The only reason I'm passing anything is by cheating, and I don't feel right doing it.
I've considered just getting my GED, and originally my parents agreed, but now my mom is pushing me to stay in school. I honestly don't know what to do? Sometimes I feel like if I drop out my life will be over, but if I stay in school I'm just going to continue to struggle.
I just want to do well and achieve something, and I feel so angry that I've let all these things hold me back so much.