I feel extremely guilty for quitting my job after 3 months
I feel really conflicted and guilty about a decision I’ve made regarding my job.
A few months ago, I applied and interviewed for a veterinary assistant position. During the interview process everything seemed pretty normal, and when I got the offer, the pay was actually higher than I expected, so I happily accepted it.
Not long after starting, though, I found out there was more going on behind the scenes. Two staff members, including the current manager, were planning to leave within about 3 months to pursue higher education. Because of that, the vet started talking about potentially training me into more of a management role going forward.
At first, I was okay with it. I do have previous clinic and management experience, so I figured maybe it could be a good opportunity. But I also made it very clear from the beginning that I’m a full-time student and that my availability and stress tolerance weren’t unlimited. The vet specifically told me that if I ever felt I couldn’t take on the role, I should just let him know and he would hire someone else for it instead.
As time went on, though, more and more responsibilities started getting dumped onto me with very little actual training. I’ve basically had to teach myself a lot of things and figure it out as I go. I’ve managed because of my past experience, but it’s been incredibly stressful.
The bigger issue is honestly the work environment itself. The vet can be extremely difficult to work for. He blows up over very small mistakes, gets passive aggressive when things don’t go his way, and multiple coworkers have warned me that this clinic has a reputation for being a toxic workplace. I kept trying to push through it because I felt bad for the other staff and because I knew the clinic was already understaffed.
Now the two employees leaving are getting closer to their departure dates, which would leave just me and one other assistant running things. Because of that, I’ve already been interviewing people for replacements. The problem is that even when I think candidates seem perfectly capable, he rejects almost all of them for not being the “right fit,” so the pressure keeps building.
Then, a few weeks ago, something happened in my personal life that completely changed things.
A close family member was involved in a very serious car accident and suffered life-altering injuries. She’s out of the hospital now, but she requires significant help day-to-day. My mom initially took on the caregiving role, but she has to return to work because our family still needs income to cover expenses.
Since I’m 20 years old, currently living at home, and not paying rent, my family decided it made the most sense for me to step in temporarily as a caregiver until we can figure out something more permanent. Right now, it’s expected to be at least a few weeks, but nobody can really guarantee how long.
Because of that, I made the decision to give my notice at work. I explained the situation professionally and told him that I likely wouldn’t need more than about 3 weeks away, but I also said I didn’t expect the clinic to hold my position for me because the situation could become unpredictable and it’s not fair of to spring 3 weeks of leave on them. Realistically, if I ever did return, it would probably be right around the same time the other staff members are leaving for school so it may work out.
The problem is that I feel overwhelmingly guilty.
I know logically that family should come first and that emergencies happen. I also know this clinic has put a huge amount of pressure on me in a short period of time, and part of me feels like they never should have relied this heavily on a full-time student in the first place and the vet is toxic as hell.
But at the same time, I know the clinic is going to
struggle badly when I leave. I know the remaining staff are going to be stressed, and I know the vet is probably blindsided because up until this point I’ve been extremely committed and dependable. I gave about 2.5 weeks notice because I genuinely tried to do the right thing. I have yet to hear back from him, and I suspect he plans on pulling me into his office on Monday to interrogate me.