u/Hot-Minimum1358

I (29F) and my fiancé (33M) have been together for 4.5 years and engaged for 3 of those with no wedding date in sight. The first year was amazing; one of those fairytale romances where you just know you’ve found your person. The second year was still good, but the third year I feel like is where we started to slip. We moved across the country less than a year after getting engaged for a business investment opportunity that he had come across. I quit my job, packed up everything, and moved with him under the impression that this business was going to take off and within a year we would finally have our wedding, buy a house, etc. Well, none of that happened. The business failed, another large investment went awry, and he’s almost a million in debt and still trying to invest in other things to get income. I took a job here that pays significantly less than I would’ve been making if we hadn’t moved. Finances have become quite a point of contention. I’m not comfortable with the way he throws around investment money, but he made it pretty clear during an argument that it’s his money and I have no say. The breaking point came a couple weeks ago when, in a moment of anger, he told me that he wanted to surrender our dogs back to the breeder. Mind you, we got these dogs under the pretense that he had enough free time to take care of them. He still does, but he choses to spend most of his day playing video games and watching YouTube. I kind of blew up on him, and he went and laid down and closed his eyes and essentially dismissed everything I said.
It’s been about two weeks since that happened and he’s acting like nothing ever went down, but I can’t shake the feeling that I might not want this for my life anymore. The problem is that all of that aside, I still very much love and care for him. I know I would be crushed if we ended things, and quite honestly I’m terrified of the unknown. Financially, I can’t exactly afford to leave either. The wages in the city I’m in just haven’t kept up with the local cost of living, and I couldn’t afford to take the dogs myself. I feel like I’ve just hit a wall. We’ve basically just been living as roommates for a year now and I don’t know how to move forward either with or without him.