u/Hot-Number-1787

We have been together for a few years, and our relationship has been mostly great. However, she has trouble with hygiene. We are both chronically ill, with her having many more health issues than me. She has told me she has gone weeks without showering, and knows her hygiene isn’t great. It’s something she is insecure about, as well. I feel guilty about being grossed out about it, I have brought up taking showers together and she didn’t seem into it at all. I have OCD, and sometimes touching her feels scary to me. She also has some gross habits (like nose picking and scratching her crotch in front of me, and then touches me later on). What advice do you guys have?

I’ve been struggling with this for a while now. We have been together for a few years now, and have had a pretty great relationship. We communicate well, and have healthy ways to work through struggles. The problem, though, is some of things my partner says/does. It makes me question our relationship. Me and her are both neurodivergent (I have OCD and autism, while they are AuDHD). I often question myself or my concerns, and often can’t tell if my thoughts are “wrong or right.” The first of my concerns started near the beginning of our relationship, where she nearly bragged about being a very good liar. I showed my nerves about this, as I do believe I have trust issues, but she told me she wouldn’t lie to me. She has lied to her parents in front of me, which she seems to be a pretty good liar (I can be very clueless about these things sometimes, I am not a liar at all). She has also left things out of conversations, such as when she and her friend hung out and didn’t tell me until I mentioned all of us hanging out with this friend. She doesn’t share her location cause she doesn’t like others knowing where she goes, which is understandable, but I am so open to giving mine to her and my friends. Recently, we were playing a game where she outright manipulated me, and it took until my friends pointing it out to notice. What advice would you guys give? I love her a lot, but I don’t know if I am able to trust her.