Big improvements- here’s what I’ve done
Ok. So I’m 48, acquired PE mid 30’s. Constant performance worry - try last longer etc etc. Tried many things really tadalafil / delay sprays (recently interested in Arlo), paroxetine for about a week. All in all some joy but nothing sustainable until now. Started working with somatic practitioner and so far I’ve had 2 sessions and an introductory session. Being honest the 1st few weeks no improvement at all. I was starting to feel a little impatient. But kept doing the work daily. Fast forward a couple of weeks. The last 3 times of having sex has been a success. Like last night I came because my wife was ready . I didn’t time it but definitely it was pushing towards 10 mins if not more. So what did I do? Basically a lot of stretches and movements for my hip/low back area. I carry tension there. Deep breathing in child’s pose , letting the belly rise and breath out and relax. I started from not being able to feel things in pelvic floor to being able. On top of this stop performance analysing during the act. Change that from performance analysing to arousal monitoring. This is difficult for us initially, the thoughts will come (will I last etc etc), just acknowledge those thoughts and move back to your arousal level thoughts. Breath during sex - let out a sigh breath, slow arousal when you have to by temporarily stopping your movement whilst you kiss your partner. On top of all this - you need to communicate with your partner. He/She needs to know that you want the experience to be better going forward but you need your partners help. I’ve had 3 successes in a row now. My 4th attempt may not be successful but I ain’t going to beat myself up over it. I feel I have the tools now and my confidence is up. My wife is already noticing the difference- I’m so much more connected
Good luck folks