What can I even do at this point?
I (22F) have been having a complicated relationship with my parents for a long time now... I feel like they have not been there for me or at least paying attention to my interests for like half of my life now. I never wanted to play sports but was forced into them anyway, any interests that werent perfectly in line with their concept of who I should be were gazed upon with stricken looks, and my career choices (graduating with my sociology and psychology BS with intentions to turn that into a PhD) have been completely viewed as outlandish and unreasonable. On top of all that my parents havent even shown that they are committed to their children, even going as far as to blow off the funeral of my brother's former teacher and still current idol. Prior to this I had been LC with them.
Me and my parents dont usually talk about politics because of the divisive nature of the topic (theyre die hard far right and I am a queer person) but today I had messaged them because of a news article and warning by the Lemkin Institute about the US. In short, the Lemkin Institute issued a warning for queer people in the US and I felt like a discussion at least talking about why they had voted for someone who so adamantly wanted to kill me was in order. Obviously there was a falling out. When I sent the articles I was simply told it was the 'liberal media' and that I shouldnt be worried... This has happened many times before but never to this extent. I understand maybe I was coming off strong but like... how am I supposed to feel safe when my parents are working so hard to justify my erasure, my death? Why can they not understand whats going on for one second and listen instead of react... understand instead of gaslight. I feel guilty even talking bad about them like this but like, what else do I do? I wanna go no contact but like what if something bad happens or if I really AM being selfish? If I think Im being selfish is that real or just gaslighting? Its confusing... what do I even do? Is this relationship even worth salvaging if I can? Hoping some outside eyes will help me out here...