Anyone else feel protective over who they shared their procedure with?
Has anyone experienced weird energy, jealousy, or different treatment from friends/loved ones after a tummy tuck?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot during recovery and I honestly feel kind of mindfucked by it.
I was VERY selective with who I told about my surgery because my stomach/body has felt like this gray cloud hanging over me my entire life. It was the one thing that always held me back mentally. And if I’m being honest, I think deep down certain people in my life were comfortable with me staying insecure. Like as long as I was “less than” in some way, they never saw me as competition.
But over the years as I’ve bettered myself, lost the weight, accomplished more, gained confidence, etc., I’ve started noticing more jealousy, detachment, and weird behavior from certain people I love. Meanwhile I’ve always been the type of friend who hypes everyone up, celebrates every win, shows up for everyone, compliments people constantly, etc. But the SECOND I focus on myself or celebrate myself, I notice the micro expressions and weird reactions. I’ve always been really good at reading people.
One example: one of my close friends (let’s call her Abbie) has been super supportive. But there’s another friend (“Chels”) who I purposely didn’t tell because honestly she’s a jealous/gossipy person and we’ve drifted over the years. Abbie made a comment like “well you ARE going to tell her, right?” and it rubbed me the wrong way because… why? Maybe I’ll tell her if she asks eventually, maybe I won’t. Why do people feel entitled to personal information about my body and medical decisions?
It’s also weird because I’m genuinely someone who really does not care about the opinions of others anymore (years of therapy and positive self talk, still working on it every day!). I cared a LOT when I was younger, but I truly don’t now, and honestly this surgery mentally liberated me from so many of those old insecurities and invisible strings attached to my body image.
So why do I still feel this intrinsic sense that I owe people an explanation? I don’t feel that way about literally anything else in my life. Maybe it’s old trauma bubbling up, maybe it’s just part of the emotional side of recovery, I honestly don’t know.
I don’t regret the surgery AT ALL, but navigating people’s reactions has honestly been one of the strangest parts of this experience.
Did anyone else go through this? How did you handle the weird energy/judgment/jealousy?