Dealing with a friend who is mentally ill and drains so much out of you
So I have had this friend for four years. She was amazing and so fun to be around and soon later on we became best friends. There were small things that she did that made me irritated like she would be so bad at communicating. I would try and communicate to her through text and call, but she wouldn’t respond, but call when she needed something. Those things irritated me. Than later on that year which was the first year we were friends she said that I would say things that hurt her and I hated that I made her feel that way so I decided to change. Later on I told her some things like I want you to be better communication and stuff. It took her some time to change but I didn’t regard it so much. Then the next two years we lived together and I think this is when things got me so irritated. She was using my lotion, water bottle, she would take my clothes without even asking me, I gave her a sponge to wash herself. I just felt like she kept taking and I guess it’s my fault because I didn’t set a boundary. The other thing is that she introduced me to smoking and I have a past family history of mental illness and it was getting to a point where we were smoking 5g a week. I then had derealization and i didn’t know where I was. During this time I went home and I knew I had to change. I want to pursue a career in medicine and I knew I needed all my brain cells. I didn’t wanna blame her but she did introduce me to all this stuff.
I also feel like I wasn’t any better, unfortunately I was a pathological liar and I did say things that weren’t true and I regretted but I have changed. So I decided to take eight months off of weed and she never took time off. We come back to school for our fourth year and she looks so off. I give her grace but than things went down hill. She started accusing me of such insane stuff that had no logical reasoning. She thought I was plotting against her, that I gave her strep, that I was doing things to intentionally hurt her. And during this time I was going through so much I was applying to things I lost three friends because they made racist comments about me, I had dermatitis, I was losing the relationship I had with my dad. I had to drop a class for mental health reasons. And had to come back to my room with all these allegations. I was done and tired and I realized that she has been smoking for all this time and I assumed that maybe the weed has something to do wit it. Than I told her how the weed had a negative impact on me and then she goes well that’s not everyone’s else’s experience and if people can rape kids and watch child pornography than weed isn’t that bad. That’s what just one of an eight months experience with her. At the end she did apologize for all she did. But even before she left she didn’t even say goodbye to me. She left some stuff in the room and goes you can have it all. She didn’t even let me know when she was leaving to go home. I could tell she was going through mentally she was saying she thinks she’s going crazy she didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. And said so many other things like people were looking at us through the window.
She did apologize and I apologized to her and if I may have came off as making her feel worse. But should I still be her friend. We are on good terms but I still feel a way about everything she did it was too much.