u/Hot-Street-8751

Is he an addict who lied to me? Is he just cruel and mean narcissist? Does he have BPD and spiraled? Is he just evil? I guess either one it is, it someone I need to be far away from but my brain seems to want to have an answer and searches the timelines constantly for clues. How do I give it a story and shut it up?? Do they ever wake up and realize what they have done or are they always in the dark? Needing support. :( Thank you.

What have been some tell all signs and symptoms where you could suspect your loved one has been using or is struggling if they are trying to stop using Meth.

Thank you for your help.

I just realized my ex had a meth addiction. I thought maybe he also had BPD, which I do as well. He had the workbook for it and I have it too but it never clicked because I was in my BPD fantasy about him, too and the flags were blurred. After much therapy, I have come to see all this about myself.

However, I’m struggling with this new information of his addiction. He blamed me so much during our relationship and I’ve sat with it for years beating myself up and to know realize his addiction and dishonesty is what killed our relationship. He hid it all from me.

What are some tips to not take this so personally? I’m now splitting thinking it was all a lie and he wasn’t even who he said he was. I think he tried staying clean but at the end when times were tough, I think he used and hid it from me and then after the breakup, I think he has been on benders and his life has gone very bad, loses of many jobs, finances ruined, friendships ruined. And never an admission of the truth to me and the abuse. Just ran away and is lying to people now that we wee married and we never were. It’s all so strange and I’m having trouble processing this.

Thank you for reading.