how to deal with abusive boyfriend?
i’ve been wanting to talk to someone about this, but i literally have no one to talk to and i’m really hoping for some advice.
I’m F19 and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years. The first year was okay. We had some small fights here and there, which is normal, but over time the arguments started happening a lot more often and became way more intense. At some point he started yelling at me really aggressively, calling me names, and stuff like that. Later on, during fights, he completely ignored me, my wellbeing and feelings, and eventually he started hitting, kicking, biting me, or throwing things at me very aggressively. Because of this, I developed serious psychological issues, including dissociation, and I already had PTSD from my childhood, which honestly feels a lot worse now, just like my depression. Whenever I try to talk to him about things that hurt me, he apologizes, but nothing ever changes. He keeps crossing boundaries and I’m getting emotionally exhausted at this point. I feel numb most of the time, like I barely have any feelings left at all. The problem is that I’m scared to break up with him. He knows a lot about me and has pictures/chats that he could spread around my school. Part of me also still doesn’t want to let go because I keep hoping things will somehow get better. I also really love his parents and it would honestly break my heart to tell them. Another thing is that I’m genuinely scared he might beat me up again if I break up with him.
I’ve also realized that I feel more attracted to girls. Before I met him, I had only dated women. At some point I felt unsure about myself and wanted to try dating a man, but now I honestly understand why I never really did before.
I really need advice on what I should do.