I (F19) has a hard time clicking send on the pics I’m trying to sell to a potential client out of consideration for the boy I like.
There’s this guy from my organization in college that I’ve gotten really close to over time. We’re friends, we love the same artists, we love artistic hobbies, and overall he’s just been perfectly charming and my type down to personality and looks. I’ve had a thing for him since November last year and in my head, I always thought if I was ever going to explore anything sexually or more intimate it’d be with him because our foundation is friendship and trust and I trust him a lot.
I’ve dated 3 people from the past but it never went beyond kissing because I either never felt enough attraction or it didn’t feel right but with his companionship I feel like I’m ready to be vulnerable whether sexually or emotionally. But I recently found out he started seeing someone else, and it wasn’t even something he told me directly. It just kind of… happened quietly. And I know he doesn’t owe me anything, we were never together, but it still hurt more than I expected.
What makes everything worse is the timing. I’ve been dealing with a lot of financial stress lately, and it’s been pushing me to consider things I never thought I would. I’ve been thinking of selling pics of myself online and doing cam girl favors just to get by with school and rent fees. I even met some legit people on discord willing to pay for me which I really need but a a part of me is still stuck on him in a way that I only ever wanted this to be for his eyes 🥲 but I guess I just really have to get over that as I need the money