I'm Not Sure What To Do
Hey all, I just need to rant for a moment because I have no one else to talk to about this for the moment, and I feel like I'm going to go insane if I don't.
My husband and I met about a decade ago and married 5+ years ago. Since we're older, both in our 50s, I expected there to be health issues cropping up simply due to time and age.
For the last couple of years, it's been me. I have a chronic condition that was out of control for a bit, but now it's back under control. When it was raging, it led to hospitalizations and surgery.
I apologize for being vague. My husband is on Reddit, and I'm not sure what subs he's in, and I don't want to stress him more.
A couple of years ago, he began to have issues too. Nothing major, just the normal aging pains. He kept having minor issues, though, so his doc ran some bloodwork. It came back off, but not bad. His doc sent him to a specialist, though, just as a precaution.
Today he got one of the test results showing that some of his bloodwork is off, indicating a serious possible problem. I keep reminding myself it's the only test we have results for at this point. There are more to come.
His family has a history with this particular problem and what this test could potentially be pointing at. He's at work currently. I'm home alone and I am trying to keep myself together.
I feel so ... everything. I waited almost my entire life for this man. He is the love of my life. I know I'm catastrophizing. It's just one test, but jesus-fucking-tapdancing-christ can I get a break? I can't do this without him. He's my home. He makes me feel safe and loved, more than I ever have in my fucking life.
I'm so scared of what this could mean. I know it's only one test, but I'm spiraling. Fucking hell.