Starting out has honestly been really hard for me. I’m about 11 months on HRT and I still haven’t been able to get past the step of actually branching out and presenting fem full time. Part of my plan was waiting for my hair to grow longer first. It’s curly and around the bottom of my ears right now, almost chin length when stretched out, but I’m honestly getting tired of waiting for some magical point where I finally feel “ready.”
Staying in boy mode constantly is starting to make me feel awful, like I’m putting on a disguise every day instead of actually being myself.
I only really have one feminine outfit and I’ve never even worn it out anywhere yet. Almost everything else I own is still men’s clothes. Makeup has been another thing holding me back. I’ve tried eyeliner enough times to realize I absolutely suck at it right now. I’m not even trying to do heavy glam or anything either, just a simple lightweight goth/alt kind of look. I’d prefer little to no foundation too and I haven’t even gotten shade matched yet.
Part of me just wants to go all in and stop overthinking every little step. Weirdly enough, trying to slowly ease into it almost scares me more than just fully committing would. But I also haven’t actually gone out presenting fem before, so it still feels terrifying.
For people who reached this point, how did you finally make yourself just go for it? Especially when most of your wardrobe was still masculine and you didn’t fully know makeup yet.