Sexual encounters as an Autist
I am 26F, and have had high-masking behavior for most of my life. I learned by observing my surroundings how to act “appropriately” and appear as normal as I can. I have had multiple sexual encounters throughout my life and all of them are just me feeling completely lost and awkward and unable to figure out the ideal way to act. I recently met someone who I do love and feel attracted to sexually but as soon as topic engages towards that its like I have no understanding of how to feel or act and I start to shut down and I am extremely awkward with the way I act. It’s not that I don’t feel safe with that person it’s like I never was programmed or figured out how to act because Im not observing sexual encounters every day to gain experience how to act. My parter knows of my diagnosis but I do not know how to explain to them or what to ask of them to help me.
Does anyone have the same experience or ideas how I can just feel more comfortable?