First time had a *discussion* on me not choosing wearing hijab daily with some relatives
I've made a post before regarding how my parents all of a sudden turned on me one day about me not wearing hijab on daily and that all happened because of a phone call from a relative who hadn't contacted us in decades but, got interested in me for her son's marriage 🙄.
This all started when the relative all of a contacted and came to visit us suddenly (after literal 20 years!). She used to be close with my mom when they were kids and said that it has been years since they last contacted so wanted to meet while she was in our city. After the usual talks she showed vague interest in me. Back then my mom already explained how I was and how we were just incase if she was considering me for her son. Our families met later and they liked me but the guy, his sister and mom seemed really particular about covering up (like hijab and abaya. For which ofcourse I said my stance of where I'm comfortable (religious gatherings and orthodox families) and even then I just wrap a scarf around, not the full on hair covered hijab with a head cap.
Anyways, she later called my mom and started spewing all the things about how they'll be punished after death coz of their choice of letting me do want I wnat and not only me but other men in the nearest family and etc...u get the gist. And then that night my parents began arguing about this with me and then it turned into a real loud verbal fight after this. They said a lot of hurtful things and I didn't speak to them for a couple days coz they understood me before and a phonecall from a practically a stanger changed them.
That's what I thought, but the family except the guy came yesterday to meet us...again! And my mom can't say no ofcourse coz "they're relatives". And then we divulged again into my "stance on not wearing hijab". I really didn't expect to talk about this with anyone outside my family but I politely told them AGAIN what my view is personally even after my mom tolder her several times. Kid you not, this same topic went on for 2 hours in a loop where my mom kept saying to give me time and she'll do it later if she has to when she grows older. And then the sister and mother kept on preaching stuff in a condescending manner and repeating the punishment things again and again.. The father atleast understood our view and decided to let the discussion be but omg...the mother was just insisting the same thing on and on! My dad atlast got tired and gave them of examples of exemplary women who have done great stuff and how their existence isn't just reduced to how they chose not to wear hijab or how they didn'tcover enough! Also about how there are many more things men do are considered "haram" but the society is lenient towards them coz of how male dominated it is ( I genuinely was listening to all of this after I left to my bedroom and teared up...I was so happy my parents were standing by me especially I never my dad to lecture them like this coz he has never done that before).
I had infact told them that whether they really want me to forcefully wear it just coz someone said? Like what's the use then...Am I just wearing it to please the society and not for Allah? I never imagined myself explaining like this to some relatives...And tbh I don't care about the guy. Although he looked good and is doing decent in his career, his personality from atleast the only time we met was so dull and boring. More than that, I really don't want my future to be with someone so orthodox and non-understanding.
At the end, my view is still the same. A piece of cloth still doesn't define me as a person.