u/Hot_Application3591

I, 24F, used to work and be friends with this girl, 27F, who we’ll call Amy. Amy and I had become friendly when I first started working at my previous job, but she soon left for maternity leave so we weren’t close. Fast forward to the end of last summer, Amy came back to work after her and her bd split up due to him cheating on her. She invited me out for a drink after work and we quickly became close friends. We would literally hang out every weekend and also during the week, with my homeboy as well, who also worked with us at the time. Over the next few months we became incredibly close, I even opened up to her about mental health struggles I had in the past and my complicated family dynamics, things I don’t really share with just anyone. I really valued her and our friendship and thought she felt the same.
After Halloween last year, a guy let’s call Brad, 24M, started working with us. I immediately found him attractive and had a small crush on him, which I told her about. Since Amy had mutual friends in common with him, she asked if he was single and found out that he was single, but still in love with his ex girlfriend who he had only recently broke up with. I was disappointed but relieved since I don’t like to date coworkers. However, Amy started inviting him to the bar we go to anyway, as she thought we’d be cute together, or so she said.
The more I got to know Brad, the more I grew to like him, and I thought he might have even liked me, as he constantly flirted with me and complimented me often. However around Thanksgiving he went to visit family, and when he came back he was very cold and distant towards me. It started to feel like he was avoiding me at work, and if we did interact it was very short and brief. I told Amy about this and she assured me it was just because he was still dealing with his break up from his ex, and had nothing to with me. Even though she told me this, I would watch him with our other coworkers and notice that he didn’t avoid them like he did me, especially two other girls at our job who Amy told me also had crushes on him. I thought I was being paranoid and anxious, as I am prone to social anxiety, so I tried to brush it off.
As time went on though, Amy and Brad became very close. I told myself that they were just friends and that Amy was just friendly and got along with everyone like that, and that Brad was like that with all his female friends, as I had seen before with another girl he was strictly friends with.
One night we were all hanging out; me, Amy, Brad, and my other friend, who we’ll call Sarah 18F. It was the first time Sarah had met Brad and she instantly didn’t like him. At one point Brad and Amy left to get fast food for Sarah and I, and food for Brad; they were gone for almost an hour and Sarah and I found this odd because there was no way it should take that long. In that time Sarah told me that it seemed like there was something going on between the two of them besides friendship. I told her she was wrong and that they were just friends. But nonetheless, I asked Amy about it on another day and she swore there was nothing going on between them. I had something similar happened to me in high school with my best friend and the guy I was in love with, which I had told Amy about and she swore she’d never do that to me. I even told her that if she had feelings for Brad or if they ended up liking each other, that she could be honest with me. I didn’t really like him that much anymore at that time, and had realized he wasn’t interested in me; I would’ve been happy for them and supported her.
I quit that job at the beginning of this year, and Amy and my homeboy from earlier in the story pressured me into telling Brad how I felt about him. He very politely turned me down and we remained cordial throughout the rest of my time at the company. Brad and Amy kept getting closer though, even hanging out just the two of them before hanging out with our group. Then Sarah told me that she had heard from a trusted mutual friend of ours that still worked at our old company that Amy was sharing screenshots of our text messages about Brad with Brad. I felt my stomach drop. I didn’t want to believe that Amy could’ve done that to me and I didn’t understand why either. Sarah told me that she was probably jealous, as Amy had already slept with a different guy that used to hang out with us, who at one point had a crush on me, and had also slept with my homeboy and led him on pretty badly. The reason she referred these instances in relation to this one, is that both of those men were close to me, whether in proximity or in a friendship way, and for a while it was just the two of girls hanging with a group of guys.
I tried to not let this bother me, as I didn’t want to believe it or deny it; I figured I’d keep being friendly with Amy, but just not be as close, as I still hung out with the people from my old job and didn’t want to lose friends or make things there tense. However, Amy noticed my distance and ended our friendship.
Later through other people I found out that she tried to get me uninvited from a group event that was planned when we were friends, and she was going around showing everyone our texts messages, claiming I was in love and obsessed with Brad. Amy had even been lying about the other two girls from work who she had told me had a crush on Brad, as they themselves told me that they had never felt that way towards him. Basically ever since Brad came to work with us, Amy had been talking shit about me and lying about me to everyone, not just Brad. She was also apparently telling everyone that I was bitchy and didn’t like them, when that wasn’t the case, I just didn’t know them and I have a hard time talking to new people.
My homeboy recently told me that apparently Brad and Amy had ended up hooking up and she is now cutting off the other two girls because she is worried that Brad might be interested in one of them. Meanwhile she acts towards me like I did her wrong in some way. All my friends tell me she did this because she was jealous of me, but I just don’t understand or see it that way. I genuinely don’t think I’m a person to be jealous of (that’s not me bagging on myself) and I told her that I would understand if her and Brad developed feelings for each other. I guess I’m trying to understand why she felt the need to lie and go behind my back spreading rumors about me, especially when I never did anything but be a friend to her. Looking back, there were times where she did make fun of me pretty loudly in front of people, like for how I shave in the shower, the things I am and am not comfortable with during sex, how much and what I drank, and other things along those lines. All that to ask is I guess, is my former best friend jealous of me? Am I overreacting? And should I try and talk it out with her or confront her? It’s been a couple of months but maybe I should try and work through this? Any advice would be appreciated.