I’m trying to make sense of this. It happened via text.
We found out that we had a mutual friend. I jokingly asked if he’d slept with her. He said no.
She called me a few days later and before hanging up I casually mentioned that my guy said he knew her from high school.
Her reaction made me ask for clarification and she told me that they were good friends in high school. It sounded like he had a crush on her back in the day and she wasn’t interested.
She said that five years ago they started talking he was living with a girl, they were on the outs and trying to get out of their lease. She said she slept with him once and realized it wasn’t for her. She kind of ghosted him, he got a little butt hurt, but she didn’t care at the time.
He tried calling me but I was in the phone with the friend. he tried texting, left on read. He then asked why and I responded with - “another lie.”
He immediately switched to “I don’t want to talk anymore, I don’t have time for this bs” “what a waste of time” I liked both of his texts, he continued with “I didn’t want to share my mistake” “don’t go digging too much with the next guy”
I didn’t blow up- all I said was “I wish you were truthful” “I just wanted honesty”
I’m not judging him on his past, but I’m not thrilled about the lying. We could have talked about it.
A few days later I had an emotional moment and called. He didn’t answer, but texted. Told him l learned that a friend had passed. It shifted my perspective on things and that I didn’t want things to be negative between us.
He was kind said that he didn’t have negative thoughts towards me and offered to call later if I wanted.
My response was “thank you. I appreciate it. Feel free to call me later.”
He didn’t call.
This is the third time he’s broken up with me, each time out of haste leaving me confused. He’s come back and explain that he couldn’t handle it at the time. I would push - he just needed to cool down.
Am I dealing with an avoidant discard? Or is this just someone that was already checked out.
I want to reach out and tell him, I wish we could have talked about it before just shutting it down.