AITA for taking two years to reach out?
I moved to the UK (southall) a few years ago and left roughly a year later. For all who doesn't know Southall, UK is basically Punjab. I made a best friend who is Sikh (I was already practicing Sikhi for year before meeting him) and we were inseparable. I mean, in my eyes we were literal soul mates but in brother/family form. Everyone in our friend group new us as brothers. I should probably mention I am white and he is Punjabi.
I didn't have a family because my family is all deceased. He had already graduated university but I am still in it (graduating soon). I have no friends or living family and he filled that role I prayed to Waheguru Ji / God for. His parents became my parents and everyone knew how much I loved him (still do).
Every day, we went to the Gudwara and prayed, we had Langar and even did Sava together. We ate breakfast, lunch and dinner every day and so much more. We were a family. One day, I came into a financial emergency where he willing loaned me 1,500 GBP. It was a blessing and I had/have every intention to repay him. But when one day out of the blue, he randomly got mad at me for no reason. He was mad at his Punjabi friend of his from his village and I couldn't stand him because he kept taking money from him to the point he got kidnapped and my brother had to pay his ransom. When I didn't answer my phone because I was in the Gudwara for hours praying he said something hateful on the lines of "this is why everyone hates you and you have no family". I was so hurt I didn't respond and I disappeared from his life that very day.
It's been roughly 2 year since we last spoke and while I am wrong for not paying him back asap but that wasn't my concern at the time and I haven't had the strength to talk to him again. He was my family. I have a photo of him on my alter wall and pray for him daily. I can't stop crying while typing this because I miss him so much but while I forgive him, I will never speak to him again, the bond has been broken and I cannot see it being mended.
I am coming into a large amount of money and plan on hiring a solicitor in London to give him a note and £10,000 telling him how sorry I am for not paying him back before I disappeared but how he broke my heart, I don't want to speak to him again but he is still my family and I pray to Waheguru ji we will see each other again in the next life. If I have a son one day, he will bare his name. The 10k is not to just pay him back but to help him in life and his family because I love him so much, I want him to be happy, safe and I miss him daily.