Why does he keep coming back but never fully stay?
I really need advice because I feel emotionally stuck in a confusing situation.
Last summer I (20F) met a guy online (20M) through a mutual friend, and we became very close very quickly. Our connection felt intense, comforting, and emotionally deep from the start. We spent a lot of time together listening to music, watching movies, talking for hours, and eventually dating.
The problem is that he keeps disappearing and then coming back. When we officially dated, he suddenly ended things and said he had personal and family problems and couldn’t handle a relationship properly. Months later he came back, apologized, said he worked on himself, and wanted another chance.
But after that, he still showed almost no real initiative beyond texting me. Whenever I finally try to move on, he suddenly reappears again.
Recently one of his relatives told me he talks about me constantly and seems emotionally affected by losing me. He has admitted himself that he has unresolved trauma and emotional issues.
So I genuinely don’t understand this behavior. If someone clearly cares about you deeply, why keep pushing you away instead of properly showing up for the relationship?
TL;DR: Guy keeps disappearing and reappearing in my life despite emotional attachment and apologies, and I’m confused why he won’t fully commit even though he seems to care.