u/Hot_Mind_777

We have been in relationship for more than a year now .
5 - 6 months ago , i found his chat with his ex relationship (that i was very clearly insecure of) , He did inform me at that time that he had a talk with her but never mentioned that it was a spicy one , turns out it was our mutual frnd (because i confronted that mutual idiot frnd ) that was involved with my partner , they were trying to outplay that b*tch or something like that .
He begged me to stay and not leave him , i wanted to leave him , but i couldnt. I did forgive my bf , i gave him a second chance , and he promised he would never ever give me a second chance at it . Since that day he started putting 200% efforts into our relationship , he did everything he could to make me forget about that incident , he cut off with all her female frnds so that i would have no reason to feel insecure , he cried for me , reassured me , gave me gifts and made me realize that he was actually ashamed of what he did and wanted me in his life (we both mean a lot to each other).
Since that incident , i was in a bad place mentally , too insecure of that b*tch , as i had to see her in college . (Eventhough my bf blocked her off completely , it still does not change the fact that he was involved in talking to her ).
He tried , to the best of his abilities , every possible way to get me out of that loop hole , where i would feel inferior to that b*tch , its his fault , but then again , there is soo much that he can do , he has reassured me , set his boundaries , prioritizes me , what else can i ask from him?
I somehow started feeling better (took me a month) . But that thought always stays in my head , that incident , those chats , that feeling , my insecurity , it just stays in my head , and eventhough i did give him a second chance , i just cant get this thing out of my head .
We have had good moments and memories in the last 5 months since then , i do not talk about that incident anymore with my bf , because ik that it would mentally drain him , as he has helped as much as he could .
But the moment we have an argument , a fight , or i see him talking to any girl , that incident just fills up my head all over again , and i do not want that , its been 6 months , we have spent soo much good time together , he has been his best version , yet i cant completely shake off that thing from my head . I cant keep bringing it up because it mentally drains just overthinking about it , nor do i want to bother my bf with it , as he has done more than enough .
I do not want to leave him because i love him a lot !! and im so seriously attached to him (and i cant imagine anyone else but him). But at the same time , the trauma in my head has been caused because of his actions .
I just want to move on from it ! Breaking up seems to be the most feasible answer (but i cannot, im just soo attached , and i need him) . But at the same time being in this relationship keeps me mentally drained since im unable to move on from that incident even now . Even after 6 months , those thoughts are still as bad and have started intoxicating our relationship.
What should i do ? Should i take a break ? What if we do take a break but end up distancing from each other ?
I have briefly communicated with him about all this , he says he wants to help me , he wants to be with me but he cant wipe it from my brain (he has tried a lot earlier as well).
Its just i dont want to break up and loose him , nor do i want this incident loophole to slowly drain us and intoxicate our relationship .
I just want to move on from this incident , but i do not want to loose him , i want to prioritize my mental health . what do i do ?