TIFU by turning my new sauna into a porta-potty with a paint bucket
Today I woke up and got hit with two surprises — my cleaning ladies were coming and it was double what I expected, plus I had to drop my daughter at school. So for breakfast I slammed two cups of Huel Black Edition, a full pot of espresso coffee, two of my daughter’s strawberry breakfast bars, and a Starbucks refresher on the way.
By the time I got home the cleaners were already there. I felt too embarrassed to use my own bathroom, so I ran into the garage, climbed into my brand new Amazon sauna, dropped my pants over a paint bucket liner, and absolutely obliterated it. One push and it was halfway full — looked like Hiroshima in that bucket. I zipped it up, left it on my workbench, walked outside, and took a 40-minute nap in the hammock with my dog like nothing happened. Now the bucket’s in a plastic bag in the back of my truck and I’m lowkey thinking about driving on the highway to see what happens.
TL;DR: Drank a nuclear amount of Huel and coffee, destroyed a paint bucket in my new sauna instead of using my bathroom while the cleaning ladies were there, then took a peaceful hammock nap like a psychopath.