How do I 18 F get my 20 M boyfriend help around the house?
Hi! The story is nothing crazy and nothing new it’s as the title says. I 18 F live with my boyfriend 20 M we have been together for seven months. We kinda accidentally jumped into moving together. My living situation wasn’t safe and a bunch of other drama happened, but that’s not the point of the story. We haven’t been living together for four months and we have two beautiful cats. But I don’t think his mother ever taught him how to clean and keep a room nice. I do all of the cleaning. I don’t work as much as him. I’m a CNA and I go to people’s homes and take care of them. I usually work 3 days of the week for 3-6 hours. He works five days out of the week for eight hours a day. He comes home showers play video games and then we hang out. I don’t have a problem with the video games or anything. The only problem I’m having is with cleaning. We have not argued once. I love this man with my whole heart and I will NOT be breaking up with him over this. I’m just trying to figure out a gentle way to broach the subject. Here are the problems I’m having.
He leaves a bunch of dishes on his desk and let them sit there for a couple of days. I have kind of a sensitive nose and it starts to smell bad. When I ask him to bring the dishes down, he says yes, and then doesn’t do it and I usually end up doing it. I don’t make a fuss out of it though.
Every once in a while, I’ll ask him to clean the cat box, but he doesn’t do it the normal way. He just takes a garbage bag and dumps all of the litter in there he doesn’t scoop it out. And when I ask him to do it the other way I can tell he gets a little agitated. So I just do it.
(You might realize that I’m a huge pushover and avoid fights at all cost. It’s past relationship traum. I’m always afraid to talk about stuff. I always think that our arguments going to come out of it, but he has never once ever shown me that we were gonna argue over the little shit. It’s just past relationship stuff that has made me afraid to bring up things like this.)
We have a nice big sink in the bathroom. I have my side and he has his side and a lot of the time his stuff ends up on my side and all scattered around and I have to go through and pick it up and put it back onto his side and that’s the thing that bothers me the most
He doesn’t really help me with the laundry. It’s always just kind of fallen onto me, but I think his mom did all of his laundry for him when he was living with her.
I take out the trash. I don’t like doing trash I don’t like touching trash. I would rather do the dishes 10 times over than have to do anything that involves the trash. But when I ask him to, he says yes and then doesn’t do it for another three hours and then I just do it because I get impatient but again I don’t make a fuss out of it.
Again, this is nothing I’m gonna leave him over. We just have different standards of living. We get along so perfectly. I really do feel like he’s my soulmate every other way. We can sit in silence for five hours with nothing to do and just exist perfectly. So how do I approach this? His mom definitely did a lot of the house cleaning for him, but I am not his mother. And I expect help around the house. How do I ask him to help me without? I don’t know an issue? Thank you for your time!