Anticlimactic Ending
My (26F) LDAP (33M) and I met a little over a year ago, and shortly after meeting, my SO and I broke up. AP and I kept in contact, became pretty good friends, occasionally sexted, but for the most part kept it casual. I was going through a lot with the break up and I don’t think he ever went looking for anything serious.
But, randomly, about 7 months after meeting, we both fell hard. We spent the next 5ish months talking all day, dropping the L bomb, getting insanely close. We were best friends. Or he was definitely mine, at least.
But he wanted to work on his marriage and I didn‘t want to just be a side chick forever. I wanted him to be happy with his life and I wanted to move on from him. So we tried breaking up. Several times. It always ended with us breaking NC and reconnecting, whether it be for a few days or a few messages or a few weeks or whatever. We just couldn’t stay away.
But the whole situation just kept getting more confusing and more hurtful for me. I felt like I was being lied to, manipulated, and played constantly. And for what?? I didn’t want him to leave his wife. I told him if he felt he needed an affair to be happy in his marriage, that was fine, but it couldn’t be with me. I realized so quickly this life isn’t for me and I needed to move on.
So after several attempts at an amicable and loving goodbye, he messages me while on a trip with his wife that he wishes it were with me instead and he’s so sad and he misses me so much. The same fucking drunk text I’ve gotten a hundred times. On a trip he and I used to fantasize about taking together. Dude. Of course you miss me. I was the only one (supposedly) giving you any sexual validation. But what good does that do me now? What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? How on earth does that help me or make any tangible difference in my life?
So after stewing and pondering and raging for a few hours, I just told him to have fun on his trip, blocked every platform I could think of (although I never got his number so I couldn’t block that unfortunately) and said good riddance.
So much yearning and crying and so many tearful goodbyes just for it to end so randomly and anticlimactically. Staying until you hate them really is the way to go.