I’m trying to unmask but I just feel like I’m copying other neurodivergent people…
So I don’t officially have an Autism diagnosis, I have ADHD, but my mother got the double diagnosis in the past year, and I am convinced my dad is somewhere on some spectrum (it’s complicated)
I also had a friend trying to convince me of it even if I can’t be sure but I realise more and more that it’s so different when you’re not the classic autism we all know of since decades… anyway…
So I’m generally trying to unmask, I’m nearly a year sober, doing all the work, trying to thrive rather than survive as best I can (not easy)…
But lowkey, I just feel like I’m copying other tism traits and adopting strategies. Now, I often give myself a hard time when I get into something that a partner is I to for example, I feel like I’m not being authentic, like I’m not resourcing my own stuff… but like I’m only ever deviating a bit from what I’m already doing and it’s part of the human experience that we influence each other and grow and expand our world. But yeah idk does anyone else have this? I just feel like now when I notice myself stimming or using toys or whateverrrrrr, I’m basically having imposter syndrome via trying to exist authentically :D
Also
Like when you basically lived forever learning how to behave through others, how do you stop :3
Like I’m also trying not to people please or mirror so much but it just happens so automatically. But I guess it’s time and practise and awareness…