u/HotelOk6009

one thing that will ALWAYS piss me off are the stupid TikTok trends of people posting their coffees, colouring or other hobbies and interests and say its an ‘addiction’

listen, addiction can come in many forms and i will always be grateful to hear about them and offer my perspective, but damn some of these things are ridiculous. colouring didn’t break up your family, coffee didn’t give you emotional trauma and baggage from the moment you were conscious, ‘matcha’ didn’t make your 12 year old self question if you would ever escape from endless loops of guilt and frustration. (yes caffeine can be an addiction if its serious) but be so fucking for real you have 1 caramel frappe every morning on your way to school. 😭😭

this cant just be me who hates this, maybe i’m too woke but it genuinely feels like that one skit of the girl who had an addiction to twerking lmfaooo.

Ive always dealt with my alcoholic mother (F59), since birth i can remember so many instances of her alcoholism and incompetence as well as my siblings dealing with the exact same thing.

my two brothers (28 and 31) have just been cleared to leave our household, buying their own houses and finally escaping our mother. I’m a lot younger than them (F17) and I’m scared, im scared that by the time im close to their age ill still be stuck at this house living the constant loop of fighting, mental trauma and breakdowns. i cried (joyfully of course) that they finally got the courage to leave and start their own lives, to be the parents they didn’t have but i cant help being mad at them for leaving.

Im mad that they grew up faster, that their older and in the point of their lives where they’re ‘just starting’ and i’m not, my whole life they had licenses to drive off when things got hard and places to stay so i’ve picked up the pieces after them because i had nowhere to go. i feel left out, and now i seem to be in charge of being the primary caretaker for my own mother and her safety. at 17 its a lot of baggage, im tired of hearing bangs and instantly thinking shes passed out, or cleaning vomit off of the walls after rough nights.

am i selfish? i cant tell, i am endlessly proud of the people my siblings are becoming but more-so i’m terrified.