u/HottieMcHotHot

Today with the first day of kindergarten and he didn’t even make it through the half day. He spent most of the day in the office because he wanted play doh and couldn’t have it. So apparently he was kicking, hitting, and throwing.

Trying to keep things concise:
5 year old, confirmed ADHD. No meds yet.
Emotional control is his toughest battle. He is impatient and wants immediate gratification. If he doesn’t get what he wants, the reaction is over the top.
Behaviors: saying angry things (I hate you!), kicking, yelling, throwing things, running from the classroom.
We’ve had an IEP in place for two years with speech, OT, and social emotional development. He started a half day program with family services to help with social emotional development in July.
Current plan is kindergarten in the morning and ECIP program in the afternoon. We’re at a private school but have good support from the neighboring public school.

I know I need to not panic after one day, but it’s hard not to compare him to the other children who are happily enjoying their first school day.

What happens if he can’t control his behavior? What comes next? Public school is of course an option but what can they do differently? He’s easily influenced so it’s clear that he’s picked up some behaviors from the other kids at ECIP. If he’s in a behavioral classroom, could that get worse?

My heart is just broken and I need someone - ANYONE - to tell me what it’s like on the other side of this. Please. Being a special needs parent can be so lonely sometimes because unless you’ve lived it, you can’t understand it.

Want to preface immediately that I do not have all of the information regarding the situation and am writing somewhat out of reaction, so please take that into account when reading and responding.

Basic background, have a 5 year old with confirmed ADHD with difficulty in emotional control. At present, he is in a community preschool in the morning and in the afternoon goes to our local DCS program for 3 hours of group time focused on social/emotional development. He is not on any medications at this time.

The story that I’m getting is that a valued privilege was taken away (assuming due to behavior) which pushed him into high emotions. In whatever actions they took after, things escalated and he bit his teacher (broke the skin) and was throwing shoes. He was then sent home. We’re hoping to get more information later today to get some insight into what they attempted and why things escalated.

Again, want to preface that I understand that there are other kids in the class, they need to keep everyone safe, there have to be rules. All of that is 100% true.

What I need to hear from others:

1. For our emotionally immature kids - do you find the reward/punishment system to be effective?

2. Regardless of medication - do you feel like the traditional school system was able to meet the needs of your child or have you decided to move on to an alternative?

3. For those who have gone to medication, did you feel that you were just medicating your child to make them fit the expectations of others? If so, how did you get past that and or did something change your mind?

This shit is hard….

Tagged with spoilers just in case someone hasn’t read the book and plans to in the future.

To give a little context - I really did not know much about the story other than the general premise. I am aware of the movie but have not ever seen in. I picked the book up off a display from the library of literary classics.

When I first started the book, I admittedly had a little bit of a struggle to get started. The writing was somewhat jumbled and difficult to get into. But over time, I grew to absolutely love this story. Somehow Kesey turned this wacky story into such a heartwarming tale of redemption. Even despite the gut punch ending, I feel such gratitude and appreciation for the experience of this book.

I weirdly wish that I could write a book report on it. Because it’s a story that has so many layers and even makes you question what was real and what was just a figment of imagination. Which is just a perfect description of mental illness when you think about it.

The character of McMurphy was so well. He’s the person or the lightning bolt that strikes your life when you need it the most. The thing that shakes you from your rut and puts you back on your feet when your life feels like it’s going backwards. Even though he’s wildly imperfect, and probably wasn’t ever fully acting without selfishness, he brought life back to a group of lifeless people.

Nurse Ratched and all the hospital staff are also such striking characters because they exist in places that aren’t mental institutions. They’re the forces in life that make normal human emotions and experiences into pathological issues. They tell us there’s something wrong with us when we’re just humanly normal.

Just such a good book. As I write this, I’m guessing that there are people who will wildly disagree. I’d love to hear others opinions. I’m also going to watch the movie now to see how they were able to capture the story. I’m assuming successfully given the accolades that the movie received.

If you’ve read it, what did you think?