u/Hrafna_N7

Asalam alakum!

I want to thank yall for your support in this sub, it's been lovely having support from all of you ❤️❤️

I'm openly trans. I was told when I was a kid that basically my chromies are wonky. I don't really know what that means other than the fact that gender was confusing for a long time. I'm 29 now, camr out as trans at 22. I thought I was gender fluid for awhile, or maybe I was but ran out of gender fluid lol It's always a journey for sure

I work with a lot of Muslims, mostly people from Afghanistan. Truly such wonderful people they are family truly ❤️ I only realized that after converting to Islam. I didn't know how wonderful these people are mashAllah they're so kind! And a lot of people seem to think mainstream Islam is inherently anti-trans. That's not my experience at all.

These are very traditional Muslims who've taken me in, seen my womanhood and femininity and accepted me. Most know I'm trans, still they are the only people who gender me correctly consistently without issue. Hell, I've already had a marriage proposal which I'm not even sure if that's a joke or not 😅😅 and tbh he is cute Idk anyway lol

In fact, I've come to realize that my gender journey and my faithful journey are linked. Allahu akbar I only came to see that God's plan unravel before me once he came into my life. Once I wore hijab mashAllah I was overwhelmed with joy! I felt like a woman, I real woman for the first time without any question! I felt Allah like a warm hug from a loving father Alhamdulillah it's incredible!

My new Islamic name is Bibi Amina! I love it so much, my teacher was teaching me about her, inshAllah I will bring do that name justice and honor Allah everyday 😊😊

As of May 14th I took Shahada by myself in my room! I wept for a very long time the joy that swept over me is mind blowing!! I've been wanting to pray but worried that because I can't speak Arabic that it wouldn't count or something. My friend told me just to try to follow along

I did Fajr just now following along a YouTube video and reciting as best I could. MashAllah I cannot express enough just how incredible it felt praying to Allah on my mat! I feel clean and warm and overwhelmed by emotion even still as I write this Alhamdulillah I could rest in this bliss forever 😭🥰

Never thought as a queer person I'd feel so much love and joy

I love Allah and the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him!!

I apologize for posting again so soon. I'm in a bad way of late and struggling to make sense of anything.

I'm trans and questioning my faith (or lack thereof). I was a Christian growing up, became atheist then agnostic now I'm here, thinking I might be Muslim. Idk how any of this works and it's all very overwhelming tbh. There's so many words that I just don't know and so many thoughts and differences in people's personal doctrines and sources online say that a core value of Islam is that there is only one way, one truth. However, no one can seemingly agree on what even a lot of the Quran means.

I'm left to wonder is this right for me or am I just desperate for answers? I certainly don't believe as I use to that there is no god. In an earlier post, I stated that I believe Islam is right for me and I'm ready to take the plunge. Now, I'm not so certain because I feel like I don't fit in but more than that I'm overwhelmed. Feels like basic information is something you know or you don't. Even reading the Quran, it feels like I'm missing context because I don't know Arabic.

I'm also struggling with accepting some of the values in the Quran, namely things like homosexuality. Also the idea that we should have blind faith is something that's hard for me. I believe and always will believe that if there is a god, god created us with the mission to discover and question everything. I believe philosophy is education's most underrated curriculum because the question "why?" is a full sentence that should always linger in our minds. While I don't have a problem blindly trusting in Allah because I feel him. I do have a hard time believing in a lot of what mainstream Islam preaches.

I guess my point in this is that I'm struggling to understand where to even start. Is it okay to pray in English? How do I prey? I'm scared to go to masjid, I do plan to ask Muslim friends about a lot of these things, but that's also kind of scary. My living situation is also very very complicated and I'm surrounded by frankly zealous atheists with sharply closed minds so I can't even practice any faith without ridicule here so that complicates the matter further. I'm in a very turbulent point in my life. I want to say I feel Allah. I talk about Islam, I learn about Islam and it feels right. I talk about Allah and I feel peace come over me. I don't know how to describe it but I really feel something here.

TL;DR lots of Christian religious trauma broke me and my faith. Spent a long time as an Atheist, then Pagan then agnostic. Now, I think I may have found more truth in Islam. However, being trans I worry for my acceptance into the community and moreso worry about that conflict because I didn't choose to be trans, I'd much much rather be cis. Live in Washington state and want to find a place that will accept me.

I'm 29y/o, southern out of Tennessee (really bounced around between TN, KY and CA all my childhood) raised southern baptist, although currently living in Washington state. Nearing the end of high school I was getting ready to go to a bible college out of California. My faith cracked when I read the original words of the bible and learned that these books were largely incorrectly translated intentionally. Passages condemning homosexuality originally condemned SA and sex acts with children. Through some perversion of faith turned to idolatry with church leaders and political leaders set up as gods for worship and their tenets were those of hate and greed.

My faith broke when I was bullied by my church and the church of the bible college I was planning to study at for daring to have a girlfriend whose hand I elected to hold in private. I spent 3hrs in the backroom of a church pulpit being berated like a criminal in an interrogation room before I broke and stormed out.

I feel it's necessary to include such account of my religious trauma partially in hopes of finding commonality among this group. However, I originally came here for answers and to determine whether I can even be Muslim as a trans woman. I am certainly not cis, I wish everyday that I were. I did not choose this, I don't think anyone would. Despite my own dysphoria, I pass well enough that most people just think I'm kind of tall. When I try, my voice is passable too. All this to say that I worry about a local mosque's acceptance of me entering the congregation. From my experience with Christianity, it was considered blasphemy in my church should a queer person dare elect to enter through the doors of our hallowed ground.

I'm new to this pretty much entirely. However, I've been a student of philosophy (privately, not scholarly) for years. And what is religion if not philosophy with faith? I jest, but only in part, as I have spent many years infatuated by the teachings of many philosophers. Especially Muslim philosophers and my favorite philosopher Aristotle. I find a lot of truth in Islam's teachings.

I find comfort and community with my Muslim friends who've welcomed me. Men from Afghanistan have become some of my closest friends. I love them dearly like brothers, but I don't know if they see me as a man or as the woman I am despite the fact that they gender me correctly. A couple do see me as a woman I know as they've told me as such. However, most tend to refer to me with masculine pronouns in Pashto but feminine pronouns in English or they'll call me brother. To clarify I work with a ton of people from Afghanistan.

All this to say, these people - as wonderful as they are - are my only insight into Islam. For fear of their rejection of me, I ask you if you think they would accept me as a Muslim woman? I know it seems silly to ask that here considering the fact that they aren't here, but this is totally foreign to me and my relationships with these people is incredibly important to me.

In the writing of my last paragraph I realized that Islam is right for me. Whether or not my friends accept me. I've been trying to convince myself that this is right, I've been afraid to make the jump this whole time. I'm ready to stop running from Allah and embrace him. I'm ready to find my way with god again. If I can be a Muslim based on my relationship with Allah and the Quran, not other people's opinionated interpretations of the Quran I'll be fine to accept.

Any advice, information, thoughts, etc. are very welcomed and appreciated 🧡