i’m (f20) back to my parent’s house during the summer and i feel sooo trapped. during uni i’m working late nights, hanging out with my friends everyday, basically i’m an adult who can manage my own schedule. everyone there sees me as an adult capable of managing myself; but at home, i’m a child who doesn’t know what the world is like.
i told my dad i wanted to stay there over the summer. he then responded, “have you forgotten your own home?” but my home is where my friends and my loved ones are. i’ve secretly been living with my bf of 3 years during uni. this home doesn’t feel much like a home. i don’t have a car so i can’t go out. my house has cameras so i can‘t sneak out. when i do go out, i can’t be gone for too long or i get the whole “is this your hotel?” lecture. i’m expected to stay home most of the time and spend time with my family. my parents are very very overprotective & scared of anything happening to me so there’s limited things i can do. earlier i told my mom i was going to go out on a run then she said i’m not allowed to run anymore unless i run with my siblings. it freaking pisses me off. because i used to walk alone at night, i’ve traveled and crossed states by myself, and suddenly i’m a clueless teenager who has no life experience yet of the scary world out there.
in this household, family is #1 even at the cost of your mental health. i can’t do my homework in peace because someone’s ALWAYS talking to me. i can’t watch my shows or relax without being freaking interrupted. i pick a pimple while doing homework and my dad starts screaming “what are you doing??”. i can’t wear shorts and a tank top because i’ll get comments about my body and being modest. but i’m supposed to be okay with it because we’re family & we sacrifice everything for each other am i right. i’m the type of person that prefers to be alone & apparently that breaks my parents’ hearts. i’m also not the type of person to listen to everything my parents say and i make it very clear. but they’ll still try to guilt trip and emotionally manipulate me. i’m currently putting them on an information diet because they criticize & control me about everything, but now they’re ”hurt” because i don’t talk to them about my personal things anymore. i crave peace but all this household offers is chaos and my lovely cat. i think i’d feel worse if my cat wasn’t here.
but long story short— i feel so trapped and i’m so sick of the infantilization. i’m never an adult according to my parents’ eyes no matter how hard i prove myself. there’s no way i can move back here after i graduate. i’m currently working my ass off, luckily my bf has been helping me work financially towards that goal too so hopefully we can move in together. how do you guys survive staying with them?