So I’ve been talking to this girl (F20) for about 8 months now. We met online while gaming, and things have been really good overall. We’ve had normal fights, but we usually sort them out within a couple of days. We’ve officially been in a relationship for about 1.5 months.
The complicated part is her past. She broke up with her ex (M23) around 9 months ago, who lives in her apartment building, and their families are very close. Her family especially sees him as the “perfect match” for her, even though she says me she doesn’t want to be with him anymore as they broke up and she can't see future with him.
When she told her mom she wasn’t talking to him, her mom said that we'll see that later and her mom told her dad leading this situation where her dad scolded her and told her to focus on studies instead of relationships.
We met in person last month, and everything went great. But recently I asked her when she would introduce me to her family, and she said she can’t do that now and would have to wait around 4 years until she finishes her doctorate and that time she'll tell them.
This is where I’m struggling. The idea of waiting that long, combined with her family’s expectations and her ex still being around, makes me anxious and overthink a lot—especially since we’re long distance. I also think that as the time passes her family would plan much better for their future as they don't know that she broke up with him and also she's not able to tell them as she would get taunts from them.
She reassures me that she won’t go back to him, but I still feel uneasy about the situation and the uncertainty of the future being long distance relationship.
My question is how do I handle these insecurities and decide whether waiting in this situation is the right choice for me?