Trying to Figure Out Living Alone Again (Advice Requested)
One month ago my wife came home from work and out of the blue told me she wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted to sleep with other people. It was two weeks before my 43rd birthday and our 11th anniversary. She wouldn't tell me what happened or why she wasn't willing to work on fixing whatever had gone wrong with us. The day before she was telling me how much she loved me and we were talking about where to have our anniversary dinner. I am still very much in love with her, but I've learned in the weeks since that she was being unfaithful and had been lying to me for years. I feel like an idiot for loving and trusting her.
But beyond that, I developed a chronic illness a couple years ago. It's a degenerative nerve condition that they don't understand and they can only treat the symptoms with pain meds. I'm functional most days and I handled 90% of our household chores and responsibilities still. But there are days when it hurts too bad to walk, and when I get a flair up it can put me in bed for a week.
I loved living alone when I was in my 20s, but I'm actually terrified of it now. I don't want a roommate, and I don't know if anyone will date someone with chronic illness at my age anymore, so I know there's a good chance I'll be alone for the remainder of my life.
I used to have a ton of friends and was very social, but my wife wasn't and when I got sick I couldn't make the same effort and my friendships faded and moved away. Everyone I know lives in another state. And my only family, a sister, lives on the other side of country. I see my colleagues 5-6 times a year, even having offices next to each other, and they're not friendly people.
Has anyone suddenly found themselves sick and alone without friends or family nearby? Any advice you can give me? I've been trying to make friends on an app to join a local game group or something like that, but they've all either been full or haven't responded in weeks. But I do want to make friends so I don't get weird and go crazy in the winter when I'm extra lonely.