u/Human_Bag_1889

Husband was caught online cheating Nov to Jan, mainly with men. Promised to stop all online activity as he 'wanted our relationship to work'.

I found that he'd done it again in March. He called it a single 'slip' and asked for one more chance. I didn't believe him and knew he'd just try to hide it better.

Forward to the last two weeks and I've been monitoring him online (he doesn't know this yet) and his porn use has been *heavy*. Almost every day. Multiple sites. Interactive sites. Some male focused/trans focused.

I'm tired. I'm exhausted. We've been together 25 years and have children. He doesn't want to stop, does he? He's in therapy but it's not dealing with these issues. Lies directly to my face.

He never ever confessed, I've always had to find out as he obviously values the secrecy of his online sex more than our relationship - I've asked him a few times over the past couple of weeks how things are going, and he's had ample opportunity to tell me like he promised he would. Nothing.

My PA/SA husband looked on a local Thai massage website today, he got as far as checkout but then I have no way to tell if he paid or not. He's also looked at Vivastreet which has a lot of adult content including massages and escort services. I've noticed he spends a lot of time on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Reddit.....

Part of our agreement for reconciliation was no sexual content online. I can't say for sure he's looked at anything but I am suspicious given past behaviour.

Just venting really at the despair of it all.

I'm pretty sure my WH is using mobile data and incognito mode to stay off the router logs. I am catching things on there that possibly point to VPNs and hits on filters against adult content (we have parental controls active). For example, this morning at home his device was active, then there was a filter hit, then he went offline for about 10 minutes before joining the WiFi again, so I'm pretty sure he was using mobile data. Has anyone else faced this issue? He's telling me he's stopped completely. He has a blocker on his phone but it's weak and easily turned on and off by him.